No Surprise

At times, you need to speed up to wake up

2012-02-02T15:52:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum,

When I went to a program last weekend, I met these two teachers. Both are principals of two other schools.

Yes well who said when you end school you've got nothing to do with school anymore? - my school isn't the conventional school, in fact its very different - there's something called Tarbiyyah (Islamic Teaching) that is obviously something continuous - you never graduate the lessons - so after school there are still programs going on like weekly usrah, post-SPM programs (for 6 months but not everyday). Of course joining is voluntary not formally compulsory.

But anyway. we went to this other school, SM Al-Islah, Sg Petani. For a school with cheap fee (well, comparatively) - it doesn't exceed RM200 per month, it does have lots of facilities. A mosque is on its grounds as well. The mosque has maybe 6-8 LCD TVs, ~~our school should have those too hahaha~~.

The principal welcomed us. He gave a speech/briefing first. what interested me was the analogies he used. ~~haha aku memang suka benda2 kena fikir ni pfft~~

He said that driving 110 km/h is fast. But staying for a long time at 110 km/h is tiring and makes us sleepy. So for 3 minutes, we sometimes have to speed up to 140 km/h, to wake ourselves up. Then after that go back to 110 km/h with different conscience.

The 140 km/h 3 minute was analogized as the 3-day program.

Hahaha. I dunno why I remember that one until now. It's something I can relate to perhaps.

There was this other principal (I dunno why too many principals came haha) who gave a talk about something very interesting as well (the powerpoint was in Arabic!!) but maybe next time.

p/s: I have no skills of making videos at all. I don't even know what software to use. I wonder why they seemed to think I do. LOL

Hijab & Fashion cannot merge?

2012-01-24T11:38:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum,

I'll confess, ~~I love you nahh~~ every time I read any articles, its hard for me to absorb everything. I guess its because I already created a mindset on the issue and I haven't freed myself enough from it to accept new ideas.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't agree that fashion & the Hijab can't possibly merge.

I read the article related to this in Solusi (the magazine), the newest one themed Polygamy - I think its the latest one.

The writer wrote of an opinion (not hers) "fashion is a Western ideology and Hijab is purely Islamic" that's why the Hijab cannot be about fashion.

I guess its too harsh an opinion. There is no law in Islam that rejects all western ideologies just because they are...western.

This is what I think about fashion. (since this is about the Hijab, I guess its only about women). First, I don't think fashion is from the West.

Chanel, Burberry, Coach et cetera are creations (i'm not sure where they originated, lets say the West Ha ha) made popular and deemed upper-class, which make us label-conscious and continuously (indirectly) heading that direction. But that's fine with me, if you have the money, the means and you think you can still control yourself (financially and mentally I mean)- liking,buying and following the labels are fine.

But fashion is different. Fashion may be heavily influenced by labels & individuals (celebs), but fashion is quite universal. It differs from one area to another. Johoreans wear things differently from Singaporeans - ironically, we're one bridge away (lol). Johoreans wear things differently from KL-ites, if you are observing you'd notice.

The Baju Kurung, is a fashion statement. and its not from the West. Fashion originates from society - their mentality, creativity, education, culture.

Link

by the way, on my tab I have Googled "define: fashion" and it says "A popular trend" Lets all hail Google for the help hehh X)

When fashion is part of a culture, we have to now admit that Islam doesn't reject culture. It integrates culture to be Islamic,

I read a book on Clothing and Fashion by Maududi. In the book, it was told that there was this time during Saidina Umar (I'm quite sure it was his time but I'll have to check back) that some non-Arabs embraced Islam and asked if they should "dress" and "act" like Arabs in order to be Muslims. the Amirul Mukminin (Umar) said no. Dress and act as how you have used to but never discard Islamic values or contradict Islamic laws.

And another part was when a foreigner (is this the word?) gave him a hat (something like that) which wasn't part of Arab culture/dressing norm, and the Khalifah wore it at times.

The one thing Islam rejects (according to Maududi) is the entire imitation of another culture (i.e West) to the extent that you do not want to be known and will not be known as a Muslim & a Malaysian (just an example)

Because entirely copying and imitating another culture's physical image, is void and meaningless because it's from the mindset that, our own culture is outdated and isn't good enough (simply said), while Islam is supposed to elevate your culture and furnish culture with Islamic values. ~~(ceh macam betul je aku cakap erk)~~

second, regarding the Hijab. It is absolutely not a fashion statement per se. It is a symbol of Taqwa.

But the Baju Kurung is fashion, right?! ~~(emotional young woman fighting for the Baju Kurung lol)~~. The Hijab is also a form of fashion. If you noticed, around the world, Muslims (women) wear it differently and mostly according to their country's norm. There is no such thing as the "Muslim attire", there are only "attires which we wear in accordance to the Islamic teachings"

And because human minds evolve, they generate creativity. Which is how the Baju Kurung was founded, and how it evolved, how other trends evolve.

So at one point we'd ask, where's the limit? What is too much of fashion?

For me, "too much", is also very subjective.

Yes the Hijab is meant to be something to "cover" and it shouldn't be overly "attractive" to the opposite gender.

It is meant to cover women's beauty, the Hijab isn't meant to simply replace it.

But I agree with my friend's opinion, she once answered another girl's question about Tabaruj (exposing your beauty to be noticed, lol - *can think of no better words) . She (the friend) said "if you're among a lot of other women, and you are immediately noticed first; because of what you are wearing, or your make-up, or your perfume, or sounds you make, thats Tabaruj"

Lets Talk About Leadership

2012-01-21T03:46:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum,

Its out of the blue I guess, but I feel some sort of urge to say this, here, haha.

I think that influential leaders are more functional than working leaders.

By being influential - I mean, having a way in him/her to gain unconditional (er, or conditional - whatever) respect without even trying too hard.

And by being a working leader - I mean, knowing how to manage a job and knowing how to divide work among the team. Knowing the techniques and practicalities of things.

For me, leaders don't only tell people what to do, they don't just explain how things should be done, they don't simply supervise team work -

Leaders inspire. Leaders are supposed to create a working environment where people feel the need of contributing in the team - to help each other make something work. Leaders aspire, they hope and give hope. They endorse and sustain confidence in the team.

And they do their job. They lead - they plan, they listen, they communicate, they approve, they provoke - the works.

I'm sorry but I can't help comparing. I know how people are unique - we should be appreciating people's strengths etc - but when I've met some very awesome leaders, and I've actually seen and experienced them leading a team - I detect the faults immediately in leaders who just don't have that kind of edge - leadership skill. And I admit that I just wish (ceh) that things were done better.

If you know this guy, everyone (okay, not everyone) calls him Abg Bai. I've went to several programs conducted (?) by him (with a team of other people of course).

Putting aside every other things he does really well, I'd say he's one of those persons who just walk in, give one speech - and easily gains people's acknowledgement & respect. I've been observing people, the crowd, ~~because I try to respect everyone so taking me as one of the subjects is unfair, eh not really but,~~ and you know, they show interest, they don't get bored, they actually put effort to do a task, etc.

The point is- the presence of influence. Once you're influential and respected, you achieve a lot from a team. That's among the reasons why schools usually dress prefects differently (well, someone said so, I guess its true), because they want students to acknowledge the difference and respect it - this isn't a crappy dogma they're trying to instil - its all about symbol I guess. Highlight the difference to make sure there will be difference in people's perception, and it does work for some people. Although at the end of the day, what uniform color you wear doesn't matter, your personality and values do.

I've also met lots of club presidents (lol), Kapten Rumah Sukan, Head Students, who pass as good leaders (well, according to my definition).

Its different, you know. Leaders who give orders and get a program well done - and leaders who actually want to lead. Lead the team somewhere useful, and everyone becomes satisfied. You want people to be sincere in the job, so you as a leader shouldn't be discouraging in that sense.

That's why its also important to choose the right leader. It somehow determines the whole environment. If people just want to make everything seem like a game - ditching democracy musyawarah baiah oath and everything - then I guess I'd say it won't work.

And if you're a leader, and you think you're totally screwing up, from a team member's point of view, I'd say, just put on a show of confidence, act as if everything's fine, everything can be solved, "if you don't know, bullshit like you do"

And if you think a systematic work plan will make people respect you, think again. I mean, all of us appreciate a great plan, but seriously,

Stressed out. Shouldn't be.

Blogging with generally no idea;

2012-01-16T16:09:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum,

This week I've got nothing much scheduled. Just 2 hours of a debate meet at school, and usrah. I've completed my hours in driving school, barely eligible to take the JPJ test next two weeks, and if I can't attend that test, I'll have to take it next 4 weeks! can you imagine? (my parents are unsatisfied that the gap between the end of schooling and testing with JPJ is too long, makes it somehow harder to pass, because I don't have any means to practice for the test anymore - for sure I wholly agree!)

January has always been a slow month for me. No birthday's in the family to celebrate, no special occasions, - its like a month of nothing to look forward to. Even when I was in school, it was all about Sports Day coming up - so basically everyday there was Latihan Sukan in the morning (which I wasn't fond of) and Latihan Perbarisan in the evening (which was better to be get done with quickly hahh). Same things occurring for my brothers now at school - ..wait this story is boring me (hahaha)

Ideas for blogging no longer come to me these days. I don't know if its because I don't socialize with a lot of people these days - or is it because I'm not joining many discussions, ~~or maybe its just because nothing much is happening with my life~~ - my friends and I refuse to acknowledge this notion because it is somewhat untrue -.- we have things going on lah (haha)

Anyway, I talked to my parents about what course should I pursue next year.

I'll tell you the history of my "interest", when I was younger, I once wanted to become a teacher. Then I ditched that and took interest to become a doctor. Then later I started being interested in business - then I wanted to become an accountant. Later I wanted to become a doctor again. Then I started researching about the field of economy. Now after reading too much of John Grisham, I think that Law and Order seems interesting.

My parents started educating me on the options I have.

My dad first talked about "if you want an easy one, be a teacher. Really easy to pass"

Then my mom suggested "Psychology or psychiatry?"

science stream "do you want to become a doctor or not?"

then, "if you want to make changes, take Social science" "you'll probably have to go on until PhD"

then, Law "okay juga, boleh pergi abroad ke?" me: when come back here, have to take test. dad: "ha, tu lah"

Engineering "take Mech Engineering and you can go to other fields, become an engineer, lecturer, etc"

In the end my dad asked "what are you deciding on.. a job with your degree? or do you want to go study further?"

Me: "I just want to choose which Foundation/Asasi to fill in UPU" hahaha.

what degree? - I'll think of that later.

Last word from Mom "Take science stream first, then after results, you can change"

The discussion had no end.

I feel somewhat so ambition-less, and interest-less. There are a lot of things running in my mind, like where the course is offered, do I really want that kind of life, are my parents okay with this, is this investment going to be beneficial enough - to me, my afterlife, society. am I able to do something better, am I able to contribute in another field better. etc. (are these questions good or bad actually?!)

Cross me out already from becoming a role model -.- (if ever I was in your list, lol)

(*used to have a picture,

but because I take pictures from websites,

when the owner removes it,

it is also removed here, sorry)

p/s: don't undermine any man's dream.

p/p/s: Should continue with Istikharah prayers.

Our Life Is Full Of Check-Points

2012-01-13T11:54:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum :)

Over the weekend, I went to this program - a camp, it was in Muar (first time going there >,<). Actually it was supposed to be a trip to climb Gunung Ledang (and torture ourselves mentally I might add) but because weather was a barrier it was alternated with a low level Explorace.

There was nothing so significant or different about it - except for the fact that each Check Points were like 5km away from each other -.- and exhausted us - mind, we were a bunch of ~~un-fit~~ not-fit-enough girls who don't work out on a regular basis, Sorry lah.

When I said 5km, I mean 5km with slopes with different gradients. I'm not complaining. Lol.

There was this long road - which seemed to lead to nowhere - which we had to endure, and our facilitators told us it would take us about 1 hour to reach the destination. Which was a half-lie.

This was the starting of the road. It went on and on -.- time steep slope takde sape rajin amek gambar sorry la

Confession: we took about 6 hours just going, searching for clues and coming back.

Lol. My team went first. We felt like we were tricked by the organizers (because, believe me they do things like that), because the clue was to find a "Resort - place people have vacations at", and logically when you go on a road which leads to a "Resort", there will be signboards. But you know what signboards were there? "Danger"

And after around an hour and a half, walking like heck theres no end, we decided to call anyone we could. And that person we reached said the "Resort" was at the very place we started. (wtv!)

And during the call, we stopped for 10 minutes, and somehow, the other girl team caught up with us. From there we compared info, we weren't tricked, we were just not given enough info (or the right info).

So we walked on. I'm telling you there was NO SUCH resorts anywhere. We found another vacation place, and went in. but the woman at the entrance counter was yelling for us to pay RM1 each - because it was like a water park or something - we concluded that maybe there was a resort in there, so we walked like we knew what we were doing - didn't know we had to pay.

To make it more interesting. (1) We had no money. We gave all our belongings to the organizing committee except for two mobile phones. (2) We had four of us from Muar who had to pray Zuhr since they can't jama' with Asar. But of course the counter-woman will yell at us if we move further into the area. (3) we could NOT find the freaking clue! (and it was because, it wasn't there! it wasn't at any resort! it was at this pole beside the SIGNBOARD that wrote "Resort <---" and it was just frustrating that we took like an hour to figure this out)

So, we girls, we have this one thing in common. When we team up, we can come up with lots of crazy plans. Both teams ditched the teams, we merged. We called the organizers and insisted they come over because we analyzed the map and concluded that we were lost.

Long story short, we walked back, insisting that we do not want to rush. We were quite - fed up I guess - anyway, we took photos, we stopped to lay down in the middle of the tarred road (lol), and admire some trees, we took our wudhu' from the rain and prayed in the middle of the road, then at last we arrived, got lectured of course for the long time taken to get back, and of course we didn't finish the Explorace. Got a bit condemned for that - not like I cared -

Admiring trees. Literally sat down and admired, lol XD

but for me, whatever it is, if you wanted to build "ukhuwah" among us, I'd say, it worked. ~~We ganged up against the organizers (eh tercakap pulak)~~, we were suddenly friends with everyone, sharing the same game plan, and that night, we repented (haha) and apologized but had a great time as a whole.

But as Umi Chu (program director, really cool woman. She's aged but she still rocks!) put it; (she called an impromtu debate that night, one team verses the other (among girls), one side proposed "Kenapa perlu habiskan 5 Check-point" and the opposition opposed. hahaha)

She said that what she could conclude is, in our life we have lots of check points. Its like our Iman, the 4th check point is the highest and if you're still at the 1st CP, your prayers will never be the same with that of someone on the 4th. If you're up there you know what its like being at the bottom, but if you're at the bottom you'll never know what its like being at the top - understanding & feeling the Iman like at the 4th CP. We can manage with completing one, or two CPs, but we'll never know how it feels completing all 5.

On the way home, the next day, on the way to the bus (it couldn't come in due to geographical conditions), we walked some more, this time we never stopped (high preservation because we wanted to go home).

No we didn't stop, hahaha

*photos credit to Zaynab Ainullotfi*

?

2012-01-11T19:02:00.000+08:00

If there was something you need to know about me;

2012-01-05T22:00:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt :)

If there was a tip I could give to writers out there, especially those who want to write for a cause or do da'wah or something like that, I'd tell you to write of something which people can relate to.

For example when you wanna talk/write about leadership (okay, boring topic. but it came first to my mind), don't talk only theoretically- talk practically, talk of how Tony Fernandez leads (he not only leads, he listens. He gives attentive attention to any suggestions given by his employees regardless of status). People know the guy, people can relate. Thus the whole idea of leadership will be easier to buy.

And because we're human, we generally have perceptions on everything - we have a tendency to get to know the writer. I guess that when we're interested with the way he/she writes, we also create an interest in the person itself. Which eventually leads to us being amazed/attracted to the writer's character. We feel like we know this person already and want to know more.

Proof is, if we're interested enough, we'd follow the author, the blogger etc. We don't usually search for other articles/books of the same theme.

And as a dynamic and strategic writer who writes for a cause/daie, to keep people interested, in my opinion, you shouldn't divorce your writing from yourself. Write about real things that happen to you, your genuine opinions & feelings, your family, your friends. (your exam results, your new job, your habits, your amalan XD)

Why? Because people can relate. And they can imagine and they will understand your writings better.

Don't go on with a four-paged article talking about some crap, proposing dogmas and expect people to believe it simply. If you're Hanis Zalikha, or Ashraf Muslim, or Deedat, it will work, but if you're just you, well who wants to listen to you anyway? Intellectuals, maybe, but laymen, no.

Second tip: emulate. Copy. Whatever. Read people's writings and see how they make it interesting. If you weren't interested at first browse, you know you shouldn't write like that. For example, a dark-themed blog creates disinterest in me. And a blog post about your emotions (hatred, love) written in a not-to-be-publicized manner (ie: blog post: telling a story about your day-out. referring to your bf like "Thank you sayang!! I love you so much, B, jangan tinggalkan I bieeeee *lol) is well, not-worth-to-be-read. Because its obviously meant for your bf, no harm eh email or IM or text. urgh.

.

Ceh. ~~tetibe banyak pulak tips hahaha bajet retiss leteww XD~~

but anyway,maybe I should just tell this to you:

I've been having a depressing moment today and I suddenly felt like I got to know myself more (statement poyo #1 pfft).

You know, every time I go shopping for any footwear, I already have imagined everything about the kind I want. The design, the price, the label, the heel-height - everything. So my quest is not what is there for me, but what I want. And even when I find attractive shoes which don't suit my picture, I take about 3 seconds to consider then I reject it. And will look some more. Sometimes I think its better for me to not plan to buy - it'll be much more easier to find things.

When I have a plan laid out in my head, like what will I do when I get home in two hours - if anyone suddenly has different plans for me, I will get a bit disturbed, but - yeah what to do?

I can't be forced to do something I don't want to. I guess I like things my way (don't we all?) and I will keep resisting- but because I'm rational enough (probably, shamefully admitted, also a bit coward-ish) I won't resort to anything out of the norm. I still try my best to conform if I need to.

I think its unfair that people don't let me do what I want to do, and in return they determine what I can/have to do.

I get defensive when I'm proved wrong, or blamed.

I don't like unjust rules, I don't like the idea of a routine set up for me (ie. school days, urgh), I don't like people changing order of things, especially with such short notification.

.

Sometimes I wonder whats wrong with me. I just snapped at a few people a few minutes ago.

Now I regret some things I said today. I accused unfairly, I said wrong things in wrong tones.

Argh I'm in a bad mood perhaps. Maybe its the time of the month.
The time you feel like crying for completely no reason -.-

If you were ever pissed off by my self-persistence, I'm so sorry. I can't say it wasn't intended because maybe it was (?)

I miss my friends actually. (but this isn't the reason for my foul mood today -.-)

Time For 2012

2012-01-02T13:53:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt

The way my neighbourhood celebrated the new year (0001 Hrs) was with a long persevered car honk, followed by yells and screams and then after some time, (obviously) fireworks for like 20 minutes. At first I honestly thought it was a crime happening -.- so I opened my room window to check out what was happening but of course, silly me, it was Year 2012 coming!

So I text messaged my friends a Happy New Year, had some conversations and then I started to pray for that night (I mean, Isya' prayers, not new year 2012 prayers) , read a bit of the Al-Quran, then I called some of my friends, then I buffered my nails until 2am (couldn't sleep, had to resort to something boring) *Lol. What else could possibly be done on a new year? hahaha.

Welcoming 2011, I was at school at 11 pm after a debate training and went home and arrived nearly before 12am so just went to sleep and woke up in a new year.

There's nothing so significant about celebrating a new year which calls for fireworks anyway. Hope no one continued celebrating with an orgy or something else like that, urgh.

2011 was a year when I really didn't realize time passing. I moved houses, my sister went to college to study Law, I got two Cs in a year (personal record ha ha), I senior-ised (no such word, sorry) school, Got (but don't know if I properly discharged) responsibilities, had countless debates, won two tournaments - went to Seoul (was completely not in plan, I was initially supposed to take debate leave since April, but didn't), missed out on a few family trips, oh and took SPM gracefully XD

It was the year I actually understood what kind of tarbiyyah (common word for "Islamic teaching") I lacked & needed. Started to accept and welcome it with less resisting (ha ha) and questioning, I understood why I go to usrah/halaqah whatever its called, understood why I ~~carry (bawa?)~~ facilitate (?) usrahs/halaqahs (will talk about my definition of this later iA). I became more liberal in some stances as I started to attain more understanding.

My 2012 goal is (kinda) simple: I hope to become a better devoted/practicing/understanding Muslim. I have 6 months of (academic) study leave - I don't know any other big opportunity I will get in life to build myself spiritually. Happy New Year :)

2011-12-30T03:43:00.000+08:00

Hahaha I changed my template. Hope it was a wise & reasonable decision as I'm doing this in drowsiness (it is 3am) and dizziness (I'm having a fever- ~~aren't we all?~~) and I - okaylah, whatever.

The last time I ever cared to change anything major about this blog was maybe 3 years ago - in the year I created it. Because at that time most of my friends had blogs (blogger was trending that time ha ha how interesting) and all of us were really high-spirited to do anything regarding our blogs (err...so 14 year old-ish). Hence the many changes of the blog title and url at that time (in search of identity which was never found) nak tukar-tukar pulak.pfft

My blog title was (I mean, is) a song name by Daughtry (if I'm not mistaken). I dunno why I used to use song names to name things, like my email address... ~~overly obsessed pre-teen argh~~

The url was something random someone told me because all the url's I wanted were taken.

Time passed and I never thought/had opportunity to change any of these. I created a new email account (my_name @yahoo.com hahaha) because I figured that its easier to remember; after I went to this program.

Then mid-2010 I created a Facebook account because I was becoming a hopeless non-informed 16 year old (peer pressure!). Mid-SPM I created a Twitter account after a conversation with Qarie (more peer pressure XD). I once had a Frienster account but my email account expired due to lack of usage (wth) and friendster upgraded and needed confirmation through email - so...end of story.

My virtual life seems pathetic. Hope the real life carries some hope for me :))

Bye Good Night/Day

Why I'm For You Debating

2011-12-27T21:43:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum :)

Next week school's going to reopen. It feels like 2011 passed too quickly at times. I no longer have to buy school things this year (although last year, school spirit already escaped me and I bought nothing new >.<).

---------------------

(Intended to speak of something else.haha)

I think that debating is something not many really talk about, some just describe it as "fun" , some say its "overrated". But I've never really heard anyone talk about what it really is.

I spent 4 years in school, joining the debate club. Started when my friends asked me if I wanted to find a team to audition with (audition at that time was very easy hahaha).

But anyway, I support you debating in your school life ~~(as I did with mine).~~ (promoting much? lol) . It fills your time better than joining other almost-redundant clubs. If your school has some really useful clubs like a Photography club, an Art club, or any other clubs which actually builds skills (unlike now, most schools just have clubs to fill in the blanks of extra-curricular requirements) you should join one of them..

Studies, being hopeless in time management, lack of confidence, lack of speaking skills - shouldn't be barriers to join debate.

Its not only about becoming a good speaker, Best Speaker and whatnot, its also about becoming a better person.

Because, after much consideration, I've come to a conclusion.
The process in which you learn, isn't the tournaments.
Its more of the trainings.

You're forced to do research. You're forced to understand concepts that peers your age don't give a damn about. It gives you a sense of better reasoning. You tend to get analytical, because the more you read, the more you know (and the more you know you don't understand - and you know you have to understand). You see a bigger picture of the world, not only what's laid out in front of you.

I mean, the world isn't only about getting a finding a court for you to play sports - or, wearing ties to school is redundant, or getting the newest Sophie Kinsella book.

Its boring, researching. But I always remember this one particular debater whenever people complain about researching. He's Chinese and he's my age. For someone 17, he has really good analysis and lots of knowledge. I once watched him prep with his team. They had an almanac on the table - which looked worn out (read much?) and files on the floor. But they didn't use any of those. This guy was talking and explaining to his team mates, they were listening, suggesting and questioning, he was answering. And you just know, he's the kind of guy who reads a lot on regular basis. its amazing that some people DO read that much, why can't we?

Next, its also about seeing two sides of a story. You might be against homosexuality because its just absolutely insane, but you acknowledge the other side, why are they for it. I don't think it as an argument to see who's right or wrong. Perhaps we could see it as a (twisted) discussion to finally reach a concurred agreement. You have to keep a liberal stance, see the issue as a whole, not through coloured eyes..because in that way you can better convince people.. only then, you will reach an agreement. Manipulating both sides is the only way to make people acquiesce to you.

Its also practicing flexibility. You aren't supposed to do things how the books tell you to. You're supposed to do the right thing at the right time (ha ha). And the time given to make the decisions is barely there. You learn one non-twisted way of debating, but whenever you actually debate, its hardly ever like that (lol). It could end up as something really different. That's why people may have different views of the same debate. Its up to you to decide on what you wanna do in a debate. Its like maths, using application skills, manipulating what you know to deal with something you don't.

Debating is also about accepting that you do mistakes. Its about accepting criticism. I guess that you have to learn to be strong enough not to cry or curse when you lose debates because, heck, you'll meet a lot of people who will prove you wrong with or without mercy. You just have to accept that you did something you shouldn't have done, and you can't change that. People's criticism will maybe burn your soul because its sometimes too unfair and bitter, but you're created to be educated. you're also created to be criticized. erk.

Teamwork is also something. There's something they call "Method" in the score sheets. I don't know exactly what it is, but when you watch a debate, you know if they have good method or not. Its like how the flow of the debate becomes enriched from one speaker of the team to the next. Which is only achievable with teamwork. Teamwork is something you will build (i think so) as you train. You simply have to.

Speaking skills. Well, gaining it isn't the primary aspect, but rest assured you'll see yourself progressing, from speaking carefully to speaking carelessly (haha), and sometimes, I bet you won't care anymore of how you speak because what you have to say is what really matters. But because everyone else cares, you will keep improving, Insya Allah.

I once asked some people why they joined the club. Some said "Da'wah". Some others said "for speaking skills". Others said "because debaters are awesome people" *lol.

I also asked some others why they don't join debate. Some said because "Islam promotes the least of debates" "Parents encourage me not to join because of my bad results" "I'm bad in time-management"

But actually, Islam does not forbid this form of intellectual discourse.
Islam forbids arguments which may lead to fights. There's a difference.

Ayat: An-Nahl : 125

Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knoweth best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance.

Serulah ke jalan Tuhanmu (wahai Muhammad) dengan hikmat kebijaksanaan dan nasihat pengajaran yang baik, dan berbahaslah dengan mereka (yang engkau serukan itu) dengan cara yang lebih baik sesungguhnya Tuhanmu Dialah jua yang lebih mengetahui akan orangyang sesat dari jalanNya, dan Dialah jua yang lebih mengetahui akan orang-orang yang mendapat hidayah pertunjuk

Dr Aidh Abdullah Al-Qarni also says

"we should start respecting other people's right to say because we will not be eternally right"

Questions I ask myself, and try answer.

2011-12-16T17:25:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt

Here's to you, who uses your brilliant mind too much until you might have forgotten what you believe in.

Lost?

yes this is from Facebook

Its natural. Sometimes we do suddenly wonder why we're doing a deed which we (physically) do not see the need to. We seem to think that we already have strong faith in Allah and our religion, but sometimes the devil (Syaitanirrajim) manages to coerce us until we question ourselves. For a simple answer, its because we don't really have strong enough faith or Iman to resist the thoughts,

but for a more practical answer, its because we just don't realize/care about whats the meaning behind the ideologies and concept our religion promotes.

There were the times when I did wonder. The basic questions which some people do not approve on us questioning came to me. Like "we aim for Heaven (Jannah/Syurga), why?"

And there were the times when I used to think of the answer.

Think of the answer.

But actually thinking doesn't give any concrete answers.

We can't use our minds to solve spiritual dilemmas, our mind has limited abilities, and we have to abide to that. We can't think of who is our God, our Creator, what happens after death.

If we think of what will happen after death, we won't be able to come up with a logic or true answer. We can assume, but hey, assuming doesn't count, we can't live on assumptions.. too risky. We'll be questioning a lot more.

And we can't think about things we don't educate ourselves on.

Which is why we are obliged to learn religion. Like how you won't know what PbO is if you don't learn Chemistry (lead (II) Oxide), as a Muslim, you won't know who your God is if you don't learn the pillars of Islam and Iman.

Which is why we have religion bestowed upon us in the first place. For us to learn. Learn about life, learn about the fact of our creation.

Syed Naquib Al-Attas said that

civilization is the development of two important elements. Lahiriah and rohaniah, Physical development and spiritual development. Only when human started to believe in God, they became civilized.

Because when someone has faith, they'll have a sense of direction. Direction is important in order to live in a civilized manner. When you drive non-stop with no where to go you're just wasting time. If you live and live and live and then it ends when you die, why did you live anyway?

But there are people who think that since they're right about a lot of things, they can also be right when they try to point out rationalities and irrationalities in Islam.

I know this person (a Muslim) who thinks salvation in Islam is unachievable. He thinks that God should just "burn him in hell" because he doesn't believe in the Last Day. He doesn't accept the idea that in heaven there is "infinite happiness". Probably he thinks the whole idea is a lie.

I have a friend, whose cousin (also a Muslim) doesn't believe in God altogether. He's adopting some ideologies of Atheism. He doesn't celebrate Eid, I don't know if he fasts in Ramadhan or not.

Which is because they don't know what they believe in. And why.
I think that they assume that they're doing fine without any guidance whatsoever, they still win games without doing prayers, they still succeed "without God".

But have you ever thought of how Islam changed the whole culture of the Arabs back then when daughters were buried alive, and men married whoever they wanted with absolutely no rules applied? Their mothers, their sisters, or thirty women at the same time. How low women's level were compared to men. How there was once social divisions in their society, where the strong oppressed the weak, where one group would fight with another to seek just (however they had justice defined).

How nothing could have brought them together. Nothing could have saved them. Race? all were arabs, they were divided. Locality? nahh. Nationality? no such thing. Religion did. In fact, Islam did.

When you want to make fun of your religion, have you ever thought of questions you can't answer? What will happen after you die? Will the world come to an end? What will happen to those murderers and rapist who got away with their crime, leaving the victim and their families to lead a miserable life? Wheres the fairness? Don't you think that, the world would be a horrible place to live in, if nothing will happen to those who have wronged others, nothing will happen to the leaders who are corrupted? Where are the checks and balances?

People can lie. Will we ever be able to see the truth?

When you want to belittle your religion, have you ever thought of all the blessings He gave you? How your mother loves you, your father's there for you? How you can pray and you feel better because you know He listens. And at the same time, 5000 people beside you might also be praying and He also listens to them, they also feel safe with Allah.

How He never mixed up what you wanted with what your neighbor wanted. He grants your wishes and He grants other people's wishes. The whole world is praying to Him, and He listens. The Almighty created us, how could you conclude that He doesn't know whats best for you?

He already rewards you if you intend to do good deeds, but never penalizes you if you intend to do bad deeds. Yes, He can burn you in hell, but He still gives you the choice now, to choose, what you want, Hell or Heaven.

You? You with your thoughts. Thinking that your opinions are above His. But what have you done in life? Who are you to even do that?

You're just you. We don't know when we'll die, we don't know how we'll die.

I can't help myself from comparing two people I know (virtually).
Both have spiritual issues, they feel void spiritually.

One resorted to reading religious books, the translation of the Quran verses, went to Solat Jumaat faithfully to listen to the khutbah, in search of his spiritual enlightenment.

The other uses his mind to rationalize his choices in life, why he smokes, why he feels its ridiculous to go to Friday prayers. Then he concludes.

I try not to have moral judgement against any of them, but the difference is obvious.

We put our hopes on Allah,
Hope we all eventually see the light. and always see the light. And have the conscience to better ourselves, God willing.

Today Will Pass

2011-12-13T23:25:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum

SPM's over.

To muse over the past 5 weeks,

In BM I wrote this ~~extra~~ long essay of 6 pages and a half, just to have my teacher say "Your senior wrote 9 pages" in a no-big-deal tone.

In English, nothing close to my expectations came out and after a minute, at last I closed my eyes (not really) and crossed out number 1, 2, 3 and 4 to deal with my difficulty to choose which one to do, and did this story-like essay about Peace. Had things to do with a Down Sindrome sibling and how I find bits solace living like that.hahaha

In Sejarah, wait I talked about that already.

Mathematics, I think it was quite fine, can't really remember

Pendidikan Syariah Islamiah, I also can't recall. hehh.

Additional Mathematics, had lots of direct questions but also had its part that was a bit hard I'd say, ~~ni aras tinggi nihh XD~~ compared to State Trial questions, I think I just messed up one whole page with self-created Logarithm Laws, just hoping and praying that I get some parts right ;p

Physics, come to think of, its such a loss not learning Physics anymore (well, the future, who knows? but now...) Its amazing how much it educates you about daily life. The paper was fine, Alhamdulillah. Just had troubles imagining a ripple tank because I've never seen one in my life (so sad LOL) so I drew a 3D box (A THREE D BOX!!). the examiner should laugh at it, then laugh again.

In Chemistry, it was alright, perhaps. except for a bit of the paper 3 part. Stared at the question (literally) for 3-4 minutes thinking of what I was gonna do. No ideas came, just some crazy planning. Proceeded with the crazy plan.

In Biology, my teacher says the question was "okay". I guess it was. I'm kinda sorry that I first hated this subject. Its...er..mind-opening. You start to understand your own body system (and plant systems but well...its not that bad).

Bahasa Arab, for once, now I feel guilty for not grasping the whole subject and learning it with passion (?) and interest in the past years. It actually does make you understand the Quran better.

PQS was remarkably fine.

Alhamdulillah, as a whole it was fine. Twenty five years (okay maybe not) from now I'll be glad to tell my children that (Lol artificial hope of the future, as some would say).

I didn't stay in the hostel for the exam (became sort of like a trend in school), because I thought it would be more of a distraction to me. ~~I prefer to lead my own life and be distracted only on my own will,~~ and though they say the experience is precious, I don't care that much.

Its kinda surreal (nahh not really) when seeing my friends leaving the school, just like that, when we actually know that we'll not be able to see each other like before, because there's just no reason to (in the short run) unless we create one.

But hey,

to think about tomorrow,

What now?

today will pass. New days will come.

Of Ibn Sina and a few others

2011-12-12T23:49:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum

This is the first time I'm doing this! *excited lol* Tomorrow I'm going to have my Pendidikan Quran & Sunnah paper (its in the afternoon, that's why I allow myself to do this now) and I'm on my last chapter and fortunately now I'm getting bored already -.- My family's watching the TV and two of my brothers were screaming ~~their lungs out~~ playing some kind of game just now, and I'm up here studying (what a life).

The last chapter's about "Tokoh-tokoh Islam" (Islamic figures?) and there are 7 of them, I guess I'd share what this text book is telling me so that (hopefully) I will remember tomorrow and we can get some knowledge (or refresh on what we already know). If you don't want to read then fine. (truth: I skip these kind of posts of blogs I read, for some reason I can't explain *alasan)

A lot of my classmates know a lot about these figures. One time ago, our teacher gave us individual assignments to present about one topic, a guy in my class actually searched about Imam Malik and brought a book about him, told Imam Malik's story to the class. It was quite interesting, I still remember the details until now. (Proof of education beyond textbooks, in my class x_x )

I'll admit that I'm one of those who just know these peoples' names and specialty, and..that's it.

But I think its cool if people have interest in the background of these figures.. I mean, we know that Barack Obama's wife is named Michelle and his dad is from Indonesia. We know that Britney Spears has 2 kids and married several times. We memorize boy bands members' names (and age?!). But ironically, sometimes we don't even know who Hassan Al Banna is and where's he from.

1) Ibn Sina. He's called Avicenna. Google it. its surprisingly common.

He was once a PM, masters medicine (at age of 16) , philosophy and literature (3 different majors >.< and we complain that med students nowadays don't have lives).

Written 99 books (kau dah tulis berape? ;p). One of them is "The Canon of Medicine" - some call it the Medical Bible (just googled it, proven true)

2) Al-khawarizmi. Maths whiz. Seriously. He introduced the number "0". also "+ - x" , also algebra laws and trig. (how is it possible to introduce a number? from nothing suddenly you can substitute a quantity with words 'one' or 'thirty three' and 'zero' ?) Someone calls him "Father of Algebra" (You have trouble solving it? He founded it)

3) Ibn Khaldun. (Abd Rahman b Muhd) From Tunisia (reminds me of Arab Spring Domino Effect hahaha) and died in Egypt.

He's a thinker. Also once a PM.

"Most important aspects for a nation is Religion, Economy and Akhlak"

John F Kennedy also once quoted Ibn Khaldun when asked about tax reduction.

4) Hassan AlBanna. Was once a teacher. Eventually founded Ikhwanul Muslimin which once upon a time had already reformed politics, economy and social standards.

He's one of the most imperative person involved in rebuilding the strength of the ummah, when people started leaving Islam in their lives (figuratively. not necessarily murtad). His core principle (summarized) is simple, build individuals before building organizations. Which is how it was strategic enough and principally & practically worked. Now when they build organizations world-wide (for example OIC), its difficult to actually be effective if internal members don't share similar interests and goals or ideologies.

5) Hamka. (born in Indonesia, died in Malaysia). Fought for country's independence, led "Pertubuhan Muhamadiyyah", but most importantly, wrote articles and novels. "was a fighter and a patriot"

I read this article written by a Malaysian, he talked about the power of writing. Israel is a country which really grasped this power and uses it, ie it produces tonnes of books annually. When Israel launches an attack, and is criticized for it, an abundance of Israeli's writers write in defense of the country's act. Massacres can suddenly even seem justified if these writings are read. (the Malaysian writer says, I've never read any yet). which is why we should be stimulating the culture of reading - which will stimulate more writing of books.

There are actually 7 names but..er its okay.

Hey I'm going to end my schooling life tomorrow~

p/s: Finally I've finished the two textbooks !! Goodbye see you tomorrow :))

Majority People Still Have Moral

2011-12-09T23:26:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt

I created a Twitter account, because I got kinda bored of Facebook and the bunch of artificial friends that I have who I don't really know. And I dunno why I have this guilt inside me if I reject friend requests (I don't like people who reject me on fb anyway -.- ) unless their totally immoral (half nude pictures) and terrifying (look like bombers)..so explains why I just accept most of them. I mean, its about getting connected and all that but its getting kinda..I don't know..not-real (?). But anyway I keep it because I still have to use it (lol). and besides, I created a twitter account because there's some people who can really inspire and influence and I don't think reading their tweets waste my time (meant in a very honest way).

Anyway..there's this one idea which I've been thinking of for a while. Some people don't agree with me. I think that the major fraction of the society (at large) still have enough morals and still adopt cultures of manner and etiquette in their lives.

Forget about the service workers who don't smile and those who smoke cigarettes in your face just to annoy you.

I think that we live in a society that will still say sorry when they bump into you, who make way when they walk near you (men who know you would appreciate no physical contact with them), people who smile back when you smile at them, people who buy you breakfast when you happen to be in the same restaurant that morning.

There are still the people who wave when you walk/drive by..those who stop by to help victims of accidents, and those who don't mind giving you a ride home.

Those who make effort to pray 5 times daily..those who still believe in God, those who always reflect on their lives and better themselves voluntarily, live on principles, cover what they have to, abstain themselves from illegal sex/alcohol/drugs.

Deep down everyone has a keenness to be a nice person..because in reality, we all are pleased with nice gestures.

Although they say that the world isn't a safe place to be in any more, girls shouldn't travel alone, homes should prioritize safety first (~~heck~~ the house behind me has cameras as addition to the alarm system, even though guards are here and there), bring pepper spray and mineral water (acid attacks became common).. yes, being careful is one thing.

Being positive is another. If we go out thinking we'll be attacked, and if we stay home fearing we'll be robbed, we won't ever feel safe living. Negative auras all over.

If we think that giving students the right to bring cameras to field trips will only make them want to take pictures of wrong things, giving them freedom to do "duniawi" things like plays will make them lose sense of following Syara', and giving them permission to bring mobile phones will make them sin (WTH?!), then be it. You can think so for forever. Its liberating to know I'm leaving school (emo).

I can't really accept people generalizing everyone as "having tendency to do immoral things". I think its an unfair judgement. When someone gave a speech for students leaving school for holidays she stressed on how there are the group of people in the school who "smoke" and do a lot of other things. which is a disgrace to our image and our identity. The whole speech was about warnings to "not do things like that" .

Which isn't building minds. Positive construction in teens is important.

I guess they forgot about the people who want to lead a clean life, have no intention to ruin our own lives. Wheres the part of the speech for people like this?

There are people who believe in God, direct their life towards Him and want to better themselves but some people just want to condemn and conclude. We're past the time where teaching could be done by force, and understanding could be given through explanation. I think people need to be led by example, and taught by intellectual means (dunno what that is, lol) .

I think that we should be appreciating people for who they are, not by what we think they are. We're all human. No one can/should play God. We don't really know what will turn out in the future. So my take is, playing the cards by deeming people "bad" or "nice" or "has potential" isn't the way to go.

Everyone has potentials. Everyone also has their dark side.

My friend said that "all (read: most) guys have watched pornography at least once, if not done by choice, found by accident, but they will watch it"

But sorry I differed. I just don't think so. I think that there are still men out there who don't go too far (yes, doing so is too far in my view) in satisfying their own pleasures. There are still those who have a sense of clear judgement in life and know what they want in their life. Who still draw some lines and have no plans on crossing it.

But even if people sometimes do cross the line they drew, chances are, they still know what is right for them and what isn't. Which is fine with me.

Conclusion is, even if Malay culture says "nila setitik rosak susu sebelanga", who said you had to live like that. your own judgements shouldn't be clouded by people's mistake.

and
I'm for everyone given the liberty but also given the guidance. Then if acts of perfidy occurs, you can punish if you're authorized.

My Interests Confuse Me (Oh and accidentally meeting SuJu)

2011-12-04T21:23:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

Yesterday as I was walking into a hotel lobby, I suddenly heard girls screaming and shrieking (lol). Thought there was a funfair nearby (ridiculous) but actually K-POP singers (F(x), Super Junior, B1A4 - whatever their names are) were passing by the lobby to go out for Lunch (maybe). LOL XD

Still doesn't change the fact that I can't recognize them. Koreans look ~~the same~~ almost the same. The stylish size XS girls who will always look good. And the pretty boys..who..break people's hearts.

Anyway. (my sister educated me on this) When I walked in, SuJu has just walked out. Then the other groups came out.

When I went out again and walked back in, two SuJu members walked in and out and in again. One was on the phone ignoring the crowd. The other one waved back. Haha (of course girls' scream confirms their identity. plus the security).

~~Yeah this is bragging.~~ Just have to say this XD Its kinda astounding, I didn't even know they were staying at the same particular hotel. One minute their pictures are on people's phone's wallpaper, the next they're right in front of me LOL.

But anyway..as a lot of people have finished SPM. I guess, I'd want to er...congratulate them?

I've been thinking a lot of what I wanna do in the future. And it seems like I'm losing interest in everything which I thought I used to have interest in. Or is it that I just don't have enough exposure to fields of study..I don't know.

Now I just don't know what I want to do. This kinda worries me. One moment I was asking myself "is there anyone who takes a year of study leave after SPM?" Because I wanna figure out what to do first (ahaha). But I guess not.

But I guess I should just get over the last 2 papers anyway. Bye!
Doakan.

Feeling like I'm (partially) Set Free *lol

2011-11-30T22:28:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt

After 9 subjects passed, now only can I feel peaceful with myself (sentence structure all over the place hahaha, I don't understand what I'm saying these days)

Whatever lah. (lack of vocabulary to go on)

Studying four days straight last week was seriously pressuring. Its like the feeling of "Study salah. Tak study salah" I thought that I couldn't accept more of what I forcefully read, but I also kinda believed that, it was one of the "it's now or never" moments.oh well.

And just now when we got out of the Exam Hall after Biology 3, our teacher came to see us and she said

"Alhamdulillah, dah habis pun Biology. Semua sciences dah habis..alhamdulillah" (very relieved tone)

I was thinking like OMG, "exactly!" . Finally someone understands how relieving it is.

Just after I went home, I went out again to go shop for pans (yes cooking pans hahaha) with my parents. And my mind went "the base is made of materials with low specific heat capacity" LOL. Then I examined the bases of each pan I saw. (what is wrong with me?!)

Then we went shopping for groceries and they had unripe bananas and I was thinking "there must be a lot of ethylene gas here"

Seriously. It was reflex. It wasn't planned in my cerebrum or whatever. Argh this is so pathetic

During biology exams, my English vocab suddenly was a bit late to come. and I wanted to end my sentence "growth in height of elder people is negative. For example they _____ "

I couldn't find the word in English (bongkok) (!!!!) and I was considering for a millisecond to just write "For example they are bongkok" because the examiner won't know who I am right? but then I thought better and thought of course the examiner will think What The Heck Budak Ni. LOL. At last I altered my sentence structure to fit in my new choice of word (lol) (Is bongkok = bend?! or is it not?)

Sometimes when I write sentences in the exams and realize I wrote grammatically wrong words (like writing "for" when its supposed to be "of" , or singular words like 'capillary' when its supposed to be 'capillaries' but, takkanlah nak cross out the Y just to put IES), I just go on and not care. I assume that "even exam questions can be grammatically incorrect" . But then ~~my ego gets the better of me~~ I think better and cross out the whole word and rewrite.

My ego also makes me blacken "BI" not BM or BM&BI for "Bahasa Digunakan", with the hope that the ministry goes on with PPSMI (I'm totally pro-PPSMI ~~even if my Dad isn't~~) but heck I guess it will be just another form of emotional expressions by emotional teenagers (lol).

Anyway, Praise to GOD, He brought me (us) and guided me (us) all the way through.

I'm in an extraordinarily good mood today. Bye!

Oh Yeah.

2011-11-24T17:00:00.000+08:00

~~Assalamualaikum.~~

ahh.finally we're done with Add-maths and Physics XD

You know that there are rumors that our Sejarah paper was the 2nd set because the Questions from the 1st set got leaked out. I don't know if I believe this or not, but Thank God, we got that set >.<

These are some random facts I found online; not quite believable but whatever..

#FaktaTentangPerempuan perempuan susah nak atur benda sata-satu dalam otak. Sebab tu perempuan selalunya akan list down atas kertas senarai perkara yang mereka fikirkan untuk mereka tengok.

(hahaha maybe thats why I mix up a lot of things (subjects) in my head and have to tell myself which one to think of. lol. Sometimes I recall a whole topic of a textbook, when I'm reading another one)

#FaktaTentangPerempuan perempuan mempunyai kemahiran multi-track yang sangat berguna time bergosip. Mereka boleh borak mengenai banyak subjek pada satu-satu masa yang sama and skip2 topic.

(..yes, sounds familiar XD)

Next week: Chemistry and Biology.

The next week: Bahasa Arab

The week after: PQS

Currently taking the SPM *hahaha

2011-11-16T16:16:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum,

I thought that the whole idea of teaching History was to make us remember what happened 500 years ago and study how it affects us now.

I guess they enhanced another part of History:-

being able to apply knowledge about history to develop further

You know what, today's Sejarah paper was asking 50% history and 50% opinion questions. (okaylah mungkin tipu sikit. 50:40 perhaps)

The last question asked was (more or less) "your hope for world leaders to sustain peace in the world" (6 marks)

I honestly felt like I was writing a letter to the PM (only it was scoped global). LOL

Another was; "Apakah perasaan anda apabila mendengar lagu (Negaraku) dinyanyikan" (1mark) ~~[I was like WTH?]~~ "Alasan?" (2marks) ~~[then, ?!]~~

Although some people don't like KBKK Questions like that, and its kinda unfair telling us to read and memorize one (I mean two) textbook(s), but ask only about 20% of what we read, but in one way, Its kinda interesting, the idea of "grading" our ideas, not only our memory. ~~barulah orang nak start berfikir~~

p/s: aspiring to be more of a Patriot.

p/p/s: Alhamdulillah :) Tomorrow's Maths and next week; PSI, Addmaths and Physics.

Dear Readers;

2011-11-09T10:56:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum..

I think, that getting closer and busier for SPM means that we shouldn't leave the Quran unread, and we shouldn't abandon usrah if your Naqib/ah insists, we shouldn't miss more of Solat Dhuha, we shouldn't "forget" to pray.

We shouldn't worry

Mohandas Gandhi says:

"There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever"

Success isn't entirely on your efforts, Allah can give you success if He wants to, and He can also fail you in any tests, if He wants to.

Being worried reflects you not firmly believing that His help is always there and is above all.

We have to believe that if you please Him, He will help you.

But as my naqibah says: "efforts have to be maximized, but in the end leave it all to Him"

p/s: All the best for SPM. 14 November - 13 December 2011.

I need to start studying Sejarah now.

Sacrifices

2011-11-07T18:58:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt :)

Its a 5 day holiday! Lol.

Actually my family moved houses a few days ago.. But since I wasn't home most of the time, (school on weekdays 7.30-5.30 and extra classes on weekends), I wasn't really enthusiastic about moving (or even participating in anything regarding it). My sister picked me up one day (my sister picks me up now HAHA how interesting) and they've already moved. I only got to go back to my old house to pack for 30minutes (since I had more classes that night and had to rush) and came back. lol.

Whats great about moving, is that I get to redesign the interior of my room (haha). I have pink wallpapers now, and I think soon I'm gonna hand-paint (? I mean, paint my room by my own, mind, I don't like outsiders ruining my privacy) my walls pink LOL (qarie will be proud of me hahaha).

Whats bad (not really bad as in bad..but err, not so great) is that I have this habit (haha) of growing attached to things. Heck, I never even delete my messages, nor do I dispose any letters/notes. I think losing my old phone (which sometimes doesn't notify me of incoming text messages XD) will be worse than losing my new one. I miss my old room >.< no matter how cramped it was with all the books/clothes/magazines but its one of my favorite places in the world (LOL).

I read somewhere that, one way to find peace and be happier is by, spring cleaning.

Getting rid of the things you know you wouldn't need in the future, and deciding on what to keep, will make life a lot more easier. (My mom keeps asking why me and my sister "have so many clothes" and she told us to "put aside what you don't need" . but the thing is, I did that already a few months ago hahaha. Whats left is what I need..)

But anyway.. I agree that disposing things from the past, will do you good. Yesterday I emptied my outbox which hit 1000 messages and was at times jamming my phone. Then I emptied my inbox. Later I'm gonna go through everything else I own..

" Learn to let go " they say.

Let go of the small things in the past which are bugging you up till now, making you regret and whatnot, and why not, start new.

But I would say, at some point, we have to hold on to some parts of life which actually matter. because sometimes, you'd never realise how much it will affect your life (what am I talking about?! argh).

p/s: read some notes we were passing in Biology early this year which was kept (still is) in my Biology Ref Book. About some "tudung issue" LOL

And Again..

2011-11-04T18:34:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt..

Before this notebook's battery dies down, I just wanna say,

Please forgive me for all of my wrongdoings.

I'm sorry.

I know its kinda lame, saying sorry just before taking exams, but hey, its not everyday we get the chance to be lame (?!).

I'm sorry for promises not kept, offensive words, offensive acts, yet-to-be paid debt (lol!), inappropriate gestures, being too loud in class, opening doors from the inside and accidentally hitting people outside.....and everything else.

p/s: yes, this thing's battery has only 7% left.

written later: sometimes I wonder why people can overrate an issue and overly react to it. I thought Newton said that (in the equilibrium state), there is always an equal reaction acting opposite to the force exerted.

try judge things maturely la (or the closest you can get to mature). hopefully, then you will see who's right/wrong and what you're supposed to do if you're right/wrong. Peace no war :)

Trust

2011-10-14T11:47:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum

trust

Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

but trust still isn't something that can be easily explained. nor is it easily acquired.

Personally, I think that the ability to trust someone is somehow a blessing, because it creates a feeling of security and comfort when with the particular person.

And the truth is, its really hard for me to build trust with anyone, even with my friends. It may take years (and years) to get to a point where someone might be allowed to know me inside out. (haha, thats why some people say that I'm kinda hard to approach. sorry lah aku mana reti bersosial)

So when people do something that ruins the trust I have with them, I have this some sort of phobia (?) with them and I will never ever feel the same sense of security when I'm with them.

Maybe I will no longer share my phone's access code with people who have evaded my privacy. or maybe I will start holding back words and be more selective of what to say.

oh yeah, forgot to say that I almost stopped trusting you :)

But a few days ago I went to this program (like a workshop or something), and I went alone, so as I was sitting down playing music while reading, someone sat down in front of me and starting to converse with me. During recess, she asked me if she could put her cellphone and wallet in my bag (because she didn't bring one) while she went somewhere.

She practically entrusted her life to me even before knowing my name

Which is quite dangerous.I could be a con man (!!) or something. but i didn't mind.

And one time ago, last year perhaps, I was buying food for my brother, then as we were waiting, someone (a lady who is maybe in her 50s) approached me and handed me RM10- i mean forced RM10 in my hand, she mouthed "adik ambiklah", then she walked away. lol XD ~~(Maybe I look like someone who needs money, tapi takpe MARA kan ada nak bayar my studies)~~

Its really ironic how there are many people in this world who we don't yet understand, but we still think we're in a position to judge them.(conclusion has nothing to do with topic)

p/s: as the saying goes, "Do not criticize something before you understand it" . Be it the Hudud, pictures, or even people.

I'm Sorry If I'm In The Wrong

2011-10-11T21:31:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Sometimes I feel guilty for not feeling guilty about something, and I recently heard that some people have some ulterior feelings about some issues "started" on my side, (which I don't even consider as that important) , it may involve me directly or it may not, but I want to apologize publicly. If you aren't gonna talk openly about it, then fine with me.

"Sesungguhnya aku mencintai orang soleh, padahal aku bukan daripada kalangan mereka. Harapanku agar aku mendapat syafaat apabila bersama mereka nanti. Dan aku membenci mereka yang melakukan maksiat walaupun aku sendiri mungkin daripada golongan mereka." -Imam al-Syafi'i (Fiqh al-'Ibadat, jil.1, hlm.24)

Got full results today; 11As (5-4-2), Not 11A+ but, Alhamdulillah :) God willing, We're halfway there (haha, if ever I get offline --"). Still glad that we're getting closer to the A+ band for Biology (which seemed impossible a year ago), and that we're getting the hang of Bahasa Arab. Also thankful (albeit so frustrated) that I got the wrong experiment for Physics 3 (hahaha) and also wrongly modified the pressure cooker (haha aku tau pula pressure cooker tu ape).

btw, if you read my English Essay, this is officially a disclaimer: what I wrote does not (at all) reflect my true self. because writing to get an A1 in O-Levels (LOL) is different from writing for self-satisfaction. and writing to get the perfect score (50/50?!) involves; a) understanding the examiner and write according to her preference (which means putting in values and positive tones) and b) writing things that sound good when read; like "my perfect husband does not have to be perfect, he will just have to have a heart of gold" Pfft. I can't believe I ever thought of writing that =.=

people should understand that the way I write essays is, I find the words and phrases I want to use first, then during the exam time, I'll outline the essay. So this time, I already made a decision to write about Victoria Beckham's new daughter, Harper ahaha (seriously!) so that's why I wrote that essay. HAHA. The thing is my teacher wasn't supposed to pass it around for people to read. There goes my reputation. provided that I had one. ~~maybe I did.~~

Maryam jangan gelak lagi lah diam je haish. (Maryam read it and laughed and said "I will have to remember not to write like that in the future" heish kurang ajar Maryam)

Of Trials

2011-10-08T01:45:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum

Typical schooldays practically go like this; Arrive at school, go to class, complain about having to go to Morning Assembly (everyday), put down school bag, sit down, drink water (LOL), rush out again to go to morning assembly, go back to class, arrive at class, wave goodbye to friends from other classes, sit down, talk to friends about what happened during the time between after school yesterday up to this morning, teacher arrives, start taking pencil case out of school bag, drink water, start freaking out about results/start answering different state's trial papers..

(this is kinda fun, describing school days, haha)

Then different teacher arrives and we start freaking out about results/start answering exercises.again.

From 7.45am until 5.30pm Five days a week. (okay lah tipu sikit sebab Jumaat habis 4.30 and Khamis pagi ada MDP and Rabu pagi, perhimpunan)

OH NO ~~YEAH, SPM IS NOW OFFICIALLY UNAVOIDABLE and TOTALLY FREAKING ME OUT~~

Sometimes it seems unreal, ~~but deep down in my heart its real~~, and its too late to do anything else in this period until SPM but study. Its ~~too~~ a bit late to start aspiring to start a change in the school, to plan to experiment new things in weekly usrah or start a new approach, to get to know the many juniors you never got to know, to go and volunteer yourself to become facilitators at programs, to go transform your whole wardrobe, to plan any rehlah, camps etc. sometimes even sharpening a pencil seems like wasting time (hyperbole).lol. ~~Result ntah pape nak sharpen pensil lagi kenapa?! pfft XD~~

I still don't understand why people don't plan more strategically for exam schedules. Gaps should be before Sejarah, Biology and Addmaths. ~~Barulah calon SPM Johor lebih berjaya~~ HAHA --"

Ahh. Speaking of results,

Overall, if asked how is my result, of course generally, no one's satisfied, right. I got two A- already, hope there's no more to come (my mission in Trials was to eliminate A- hahaha tak berjaya lah takpe) but my mom always says that whats most important about results is not it being good or bad, regardless of that, we must always be thankful. (Alhamdulillah)

And, no, this time, I didn't write a Karangan Terpesong or Karangan Sipi (lol I think that these phrases haunt me day and night). My family is having this same tendency to sway away from topic in essays about "Peranan Ibu Bapa ... " HAHA. My brother got a C in his BM PMR Trial paper because he was "Terlalu umum, tidak menjawab tajuk" Hahahaha dahlah tajuk sama dengan karangan terpesong aku 4 months ago , haish. (btw, I'm sorry that I mix BM with English all the time haha, barulah Melayu Sejati lol.)

I was reading this article about the need to learn Science and Maths in your "first language" to make sure that you understand. and the writer was pointing out that there are non-Malays who have English as their first language and don't understand Malay at the same level with how they understand English, so why isn't the system thinking of these people when they are switching back to Malay?

And what I was thinking of was, if every one wants to push for their language, this won't end. This question just comes to me, if you're taught in Malay, you will understand it in Malay, if you're taught in English, you will understand it in English, right? I mean the issue of understanding science & maths isn't about the language, but its about the subject itself. you still won't know what "arithmetic progression" is if you can't get the concept of it. even if you change it to "JANJANG aritmetik" (JANJANG ?!!) , you won't suddenly understand everything more than arithmetic progression would you?

haha.eh over pulak.kau nak SPM pergi belajar je lah lol.

Good Luck to my Favorite (?!) Juniors, in Form 3 who are having PMR right now (Danial, Sajiah, Maryam, Waiz etc). My advice would be ~~(ceh tak diminta pun kena la bagi, kata retisss hahaha)~~, relax, pray a lot, and don't worry. Everyone (sukahati je aku generalize 'everyone') has much of faith in all of you and insya Allah all of you will succeed :)

The most important thing , lepas PMR jangan lupa sambung training debate every week (HAHA !) and on side notes, join intraschool BM and make sure you go to finals because Qarie and I are ~~very proud to be~~ Final Adjudicators LOL XD

OH YEAH LUPA PULE ADA 2 ORANG VERY EAGER NAK PERGI PRO-AMS 3 DAYS POST-PMR, ALL THE BEST YEAHH XD hebat ahh korang.

Of Controversial Statements For The Better Good?

2011-10-03T19:08:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum

I'm of the opinion that teachers do affect students performance in the respective subjects they teach. Although people (ie: motivators) say that "if the teacher is problematic, if the students still work hard enough, they can perform well" but I think that good strategies in teaching is most important, and these strategies directly affect students, so in any subject, it comes down to who the teacher is and what the teacher does.

But yes, to me the idea that if a person is someone who teaches, that makes them at a level where we have to respect them,

But at the end of the day, if the teacher can't teach well and doesn't work her/his part for students' understanding, the teacher is still in a position eligible to be blamed. Because; one) everyone has responsibilities which are there to be fulfilled; and two) whats the use of us having teachers is they can't teach us to the extent that we can learn something? three) how come when other people teach us, we easily understand, but when he/she teaches, we don't

That's why I don't really agree with some people who say "don't blame the teacher, be patient if her class is boring etc etc"when we start complaining that we cannot understand some teacher's explanation in class - (which isn't really because we don't ask, but its more like not understanding everything as a whole due to various reasons)

I also don't think that its wrong to start a memorandum lobbying for a change in teachers (although I have never started one), because it doesn't mean we don't respect them or we think we're better than them, but to me it means, that these students feel that they are not getting adequate teachings from this teacher, if other people are fine with that particular teacher, well that's up to them.

I think that this society should stop the culture of accepting things; and start adopting the culture of speaking out. Malaysians are sometimes to afraid to insist on what they want and prefer to tailor themselves to what is given to them..which is quite fine, but it isn't good enough.

When I went to this SPM Seminar, there were these teachers from all over the country giving the talks, and yes, they were good teachers, as in, they have kind hearts and they have great techniques in teaching.

But one thing I think isn't really great about them (and probably a lot more of teachers), is what they do to sustain student's attention to them. They make dirty remarks which are based on sexuality which they will relate to the subject. Which of course draws people's attention to the subject and yes, amuses a lot of people.

Which to certain extent is reasonably fine with me, and as a lot of things in this world already adopt that same pattern, I am quite open with them and I believe a lot of people also reasonably accept them.

But to me the bigger issue is how it is the teachers, who teach students in class, who are spreading knowledge and trying to make students better people in the future, who are using these "strategies" in class. Making class a fun place to be in, is probably their aim, but if it doesn't help in building the morality in the students - in fact, ruins it - I guess that's why there are still a lot of people who don't think intellectually, but probably the way they tend to think is more sexual based.

Or what Amal says "sebab tu lah ramai jadi bangang" (lol well said indeed hahaha)

I think I'm okay with teachers not actually prohibiting students from adopting wrong ideas, but teacher's promoting these ideas, in class, is certainly wrong.

And what with Malaysia wanting to build a democratically mature society (or is it, a mature democratic society?), I think a lot has to be done about the educational system first.

If they think that importing American teachers to teach English is gonna help better the system, I think that a lot of things, like in principle; what the system aims for has to be changed first. People go through 11 years of their life under this system, if they want to change the future, they should first deal with bettering the schools.

p/s: we love Malaysia XOXO :)

I'm finally (already) 17

2011-10-02T22:58:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt

Alhamdulillah, I still live on my 17th Birthday, on this year of 2011

How come some people celebrate their 79th birthday but some barely lives for a day and die young? ; And how come we often imagine ourselves seeing tomorrow and not expecting ourselves to die soon?

Living is a blessing. Its a miracle. Breathing is a miracle. Just because we're breathing and respiring and our heart keeps pumping, suddenly we are considered human beings with a bunch of abilities and feelings - even some feelings which we can't even understand, in order to justify.

This is my new year resolution, roughly, because I havent had the time to actually think about it;

I want to start giving people more than what I hope to receive from people.

Yesterday my friends threw me a surprise party at 12am+ and I swear, I didn't realize at all about all of their plans! they lied to me in my face and they planned secretly behind my back and I didn't even suspect a thing. (omg I feel so stupid for that XD I'm now officially one of the easiest people to trick -.-)

The gave me new flats (!!) for my birthday :") (with the condition that I wore them today hahaha)

But actually, right now, after two days of 8.30am-5pm seminars and workshops, now I'm really exhausted, I regret the fact that there is school tomorrow, and I regret the fact that school ends at 5.30pm daily, and also the fact that I slept at 2 am yesterday , so bye!

p/s: thanks la korang! xoxoxo . and to everyone else who remembered- even if it was a fb reminder - thank you as well.

p/p/s: All praise to Him

BTW, Aku Kenal Retis XD

2011-09-24T09:16:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum and Good Morning :)

Yesterday this is what I did.. I watched Martha Stewart, went online (blogged, Facebook-ed, what else?) checked my trial exams' answers online (oh ~~crap~~ banyak gler kot salah), baked cookies, did the laundry, washed dishes, heated pizza for lunch, went online again, went to Pesta Konvo-but didn't buy anything , went online again (OMG I don't have a life!! ~~dahlah tak study langsung~~mungkin study sikit)

While these people went out to have the time of their life X)

Kongajo gler XD arghh

this was last year. Deja Vu gler :p People change, styles change, picture's quality change, and the DOOR changed XD

You know, I think I will miss my school years, although I just can't manage to build (or even imagine) a bond with my batch (lol) and studying everyday makes you break down one day wanting to vomit, begging your mom to take you shopping even though tomorrow's Physics Exam, sleeping for just 2 hours for Chemistry exams tomorrow. not to mention the school rules that totally interfere with your life (its like, how come you can go everywhere in this world bringing a hand-phone EXCEPT for school? its logic if you ban us USING it, but BRINGING something is totally part of my human rights; if i want to go somewhere and decide to stop by at school, I am legally not allowed to bring a cellphone?! but who said life goes your way XD)

But its also the period where you can wake up everyday and make decisions like "I don't wanna pursue debate" or "I want to do Medicine" "I wanna go to driving classes" "I want a PSP" "I want to end school, study economics, and stay at home" without even thinking because you ~~know~~ think it won't affect your life, heck you're not even 17 yet.

And its when the teachers know you personally and talk to you about (1) putting up your ~~rubbish~~ Arabic essay on the class board (2) Handling various types of men who just can't be understood (3) Houses that have rooms like hotels (4) Finding excuses for you to come late to extra-classes because she wants you to go Beraya at her house XD (lol) (5) You will look good in this Baju Kurung and you'd love this outfit (6) Everything else. and its also the time when the biggest issue of our life is practically to pass BAT and Add-maths ; and our huge dilemma is when are we going to hang out together and to plan the day-out it will take days (hahaha) and you plan even before you ask your parents for permission.

Ahh yes, I guess we know that we'll look back and think of how immature we were, and laugh at the stupidity in every word we used to say. But for today, who cares. Hahaha.

p/s: the two things that I want the most now are just Cheese Choc SR Cake and an A+ in BAT.

You Have To Have The Mindset That You Can Do it as Determination Will Most Likely Produce Action

2011-09-23T13:10:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum

Even if you get 18% for any subjects for Percubaan SPM 2011, whether or not it will reflect what your real SPM results will be, depends on your choice now.

Whether you feel like you give up, or you feel like you can do it, its up to you. My mom said that there are some of her students who gave up already, and also those who used to try hard but don't want to try harder.

Which in my view, is wrong. Man were made to succeed, not to give up.

You know, my brother used to screw up a lot in Maths. He once (or twice) failed in the subject and most of the time, gets constant Ds or Cs. But now, just less than 20 days to PMR, he got a B. and his teacher was so happy about it (lol). (Imagine understanding maths just two weeks before the real exam). Now he's staying up until 12am daily, studying (never in my life have I seen him do that XD) because he says that he regrets "tak sedar awal-awal pasal PMR" LOL.

The point is, you can/should still work for it, even if the paper is tomorrow.

Another guy, he didn't get even ONE A during PMR Trials last year, and he isn't even in the A class. I don't know what he did (we can guess though, haha) but when the real results came out, he got 9As.

Another guy, he was on the 9G grade constantly in SPM - English, up to a point where his teacher said that she is trying hard to help this guy to just PASS English and not fail. He got an A in SPM.

But never stop trying. Yes, God looks at your efforts, and His help is infinite. You shouldn't lose hope in Him NOW, before even trying.One who has faith in God should feel ashamed to worry about anything, because His power is over everything you can do.

You can sit down and stare at questions and think you won't be able to do it until forever, OR you can go and meet people (teachers/friends) and ask for help; then work for it till you make it. Because there are a lot of people around you, who want to help but don't expect them to come and see you and ask "Do you want any help for Physics/Addmaths/English/Chemistry?". One helps sincerely only if you show that you sincerely want help. Teachers will then know that you are making an effort and they will pray for you, and who knows, you will score whatever you want to score?

Although there is only one month and a half left, and we might be contemplating of the useless things we did when there was 209 days left, but hey, there is one month and a half left.

If your circle of friends don't care, find a new one (seriously). Just for this month, mingle with people who can take you higher (Oprah says so XD). Because if you want to wait for your surrounding to be encouraging to you, what if it doesn't? You should have better plans in life. I have a friend who isolated herself the whole year during our PMR year, and studied with Dayah whenever we were playing around laughing like we had nothing better to do (lol), she got 9As.

To brainwash your friends, well keep doing that if you want, but at the end of the day, you need to work for your own success. Who doesn't want to, well, thats their business, because you have your parents who (ie) want a Doctor in the family, who don't want to pay IPTS fees for their child (lol tapi ni bukan pasal kau lah XD), who want a successful child altogether. If you don't try to meet their expectations, you are verily in the position to be blamed.

Don't start blaming people now, like blaming teachers for not teaching you well, blaming the school schedule for being too packed, blaming friends for playing around. Chinese Proverbs says, its better to light a candle than to curse the darkness X)

But most importantly, you need to have the mindset that you can do it. It took me a year to understand the three main branches of Arabic (come to think of, yes, a year XD buat penat Qarie/Dayah ajar aku berkali-kali at last after setahun aku dah faham THANKS A LOT lah ye X) ) and only after a year and a half, I started to understand everything about Chemistry. If we think its just trying once and fail then immediately after, we can't do it anymore, when are we going to actually succeed?

to be more assured, well, my Dad says if you once ever got an A in any subjects in your life, it means that you aren't stupid (lol) . my mom says; "Akal ada. malas je" hahaha. Its like, if you ever got an A in Maths, you need to believe that you have the ability to get an A in Addmaths.

And always remember, even the genius wouldn't get 10A+ if God didn't will it. And even the guy who didn't get a single A during PMR trials, wouldn't get 9As for the real exam if God didn't will it.

p/s: "If you think you can or if you think you can't, you're right"

Ahh Of Humiliation

2011-09-18T10:16:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum,

I had an interview yesterday and it was extremely horrible aaaarghh >.<

I don't know why I can speak in front of hundreds of people like I'm so right; but I stutter in front of one person like I'm not sure of what I'm saying.. (I keep imagining how I shouldn't have said a few things and should say a few things!!)

He was a Canadian. In his 60s perhaps. And he didn't care about all of my achievements, he never flipped open my file, nor did he care about my recent C+ in BM&Chemistry (!) this year after getting straight As last year.

He just wanted to hear of what I said and why I say so.

But he was very nice and kept smiling the whole period.

Oh well. it was a great experience (just don't ask me about it)

while I was searching for my certs, I came upon this "Personal Health Record" book. (It still doesn't have my blood type, seems like I am going to either ~~lie~~make a reasonable guess about my blood type in my KPM Matriculaition form or I will have to visit a doctor for a med check-up sooner or later argh I hate needles lahh)

The book contained a lot of developments in my first months on earth. On week 3 or so, everything about me was satisfactory EXCEPT "Manipulation" and "Speaking". lol. I wonder if its even satisfactory now after 16 years and 11 months on earth -.-

lol. its an achievement and deserves a celebration to be borne to the world :)

this is so cool hahahaha. (and true)

p/s: yes I have Physics 1 & 2 & 3 tomorrow. Please pray for me.

p/p/s: Nabil is on the way and he promised to buy me strawberries from Cameron Highlands :) LOL

Couldn't be bothered with eyebags or whatnots

2011-09-15T21:45:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt :)

Today during our last paper (for this week), Biology 3, I suddenly had a spare 10 minutes to contemplate about my life (hahaha) and what I realized was that this year, the subject with the least number of students taking is Biology in my batch. We're like the minority..! we only make up 1/4 of the exam hall --" and I was thinking for a millisecond (only) "what did I do wrong to be in this ~~sad~~ selected minority?!" HAHA. Why in the world was I trying to plan an experiment to investigate the rate of Transpiration of Plants, drawing plants in capillary tubes (?!) and whatnot?! (haha, mid-life crisis yang tak jadi langsung and tak patut langsung XD)

Sometimes I wonder if we (I) study just for the sake of getting an A+ . Without taking enough of the values that come with it.. (nauzubillah)

But after sending in the paper I stopped contemplating. Lol. One of my teachers once told me that in everything you do, get your intentions clear. when you start having doubts, don't let it stop you, because Life is a mission with a very clear objective. and whoever said you were created to just to luxuriate yourself with no hardship?

Yesterday my brother (he likes to argue, believe me) was arguing with my dad about maturity. My dad says that you can be considered mature if you are able to handle life.

Because life is not easy. ie) You were raised with wealth, but maybe you will not always be wealthy. You might have to go through financial crisis at some point.. Everyone has problems. You have to be able to deal with them. Two people who get the same amount of scholarship monthly allowance differs such that one of them can have thousands in saving; and the other spends more than he earns? (then the conclusion was; you have to be financially strategic in life HAHA it wasn't really about maturity per se)

What is meant with being matured anyway?

My youngest brother says "matang tu kalau dah khatam Quran" . hahaha.

When I went to see a doctor last year, she was telling me about her daughter (hahaha) she said "anak I tak matang lagi, macam budak-budak. Main-main anak patung lagi" (don't ask why she was telling us that!) .

For me an important aspect of maturity is when you can make decisions for your own good and be responsible for your decisions. Even if they were bad ones.

But never mind. its not that big of an issue. matured vs immature. its kinda subjective and case-specific (hahaha).

But someone said (and I kinda agree come to think of) that what really reflects your whole personality is; "the jokes you resent" XD

----------------

Hey my brother Nabil just got his freedom; he finished UPSR today. (semoga dapat 5As [= PSP] ) Haha, and tonight he's going to Cameron Highlands on a school field trip (!!!!!!). ingat holiday ke apa. aku kena study setiap malam 8 jam setengah; hidup mana ade rehat aarghh. agi idup agi ngelaban (!)

and my other brother (irsyad) has this new interest, WRITING. ( three days ago he said he was a scientist (lol!) and he knew the function of Nitrogen in air --" ) .

my other brother (Irfan) was saying he didn't want to write down Jalan Kerja for mathematics because nanti "lenguh tangan" (WHATEVER. Life isn't easy lah tak faham lagi ke?!) . Then I said (pelajar SPM bajet bagus XD) that I write a 4-page essay all the time.

Irsyad said he also writes a lot "tapi tak lenguh pun". but he said "tapi suku muka surat je paling banyak" . So I dared him to write 4 pages. So today when I went to school and came back home (yeah, they get school holidays when year 6 have UPSR argh) he showed me this;-

and its in English. lol. AND RIGHT NOW, at this moment, he's starting a second page LOL

People should have been telling me this since forever but they didn't

2011-09-09T19:28:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum :)

I hope that this will never (ever) happen to anyone

I can't imagine people studying in the evening --" Yesterday I attempted to but thought against it and fell asleep (hahaha).

When I was in Secondary One (or so), I swear every one of us girls would be thinking of how "scary SPM is" for our seniors. Its like "Hebat ah dia boleh jawab" The (old) times when we saw our seniors; fifth formers, reading reference books 24/7 and never even look up to say anything to anyone. Yeah the times during examinations. and truly, the walk from the car to the classroom is the most important time for reading lah XD Because you wake up that morning and think you forgot everything already. hehh.

(I'm sorry if you've passed this phase [or you just don't give a damn] and you don't find interesting points in what I'm talking about hahaha..just let us get pass our phase this year lol)

In reality its just what you have to go through. You used to think you would never ever get to prove that sin A cos A = cosec A cot A (this is a false statement) or you would never understand how buoyant force will ever be equal to weight of water displaced (?!), but truthfully you just don't care anymore, you know that this is life. Hidup Memang Begitu (Syaima' says XD) . 4 pages of writing BM essays doesn't kill you anymore (~~but 5 pages of Sejarah essays might, who knows)~~

This is what my Biology teacher said to me; there was this significant student of hers who got consistent A+ for Biology during exams 2 years ago, he said that his studying tips is that since he was in Form 1, his mom trained him to Study Every Day As If You Have Exams Tomorrow. Another thing is that his target in every exam is 100% (!!!)

    one) my Biology exam is next week, I cant turn back time
    two) those advices are actually quite useful ones (seriously)
    ~~three) why didn't you tell me that earlier?~~

I really salute that guy. although his ways of studying will not work for me because I can't really stand long hours of studying straight like that, what more, daily.. But the idea of his efforts seem awesome XD. (see? kau yang study 45 minutes sehari; nak A+, usaha haramm. almost none. erk)

Today I learned that I need to double my efforts >.<

On Tuesday we had an English class and Ustazah was teaching us of Causes/Effects. an effect can also be a cause.

ie) Open Burning -> Air Pollution -> Asthma -> Skip School -> Bad SPM Results -> Male: will not continue study (full stop). Female: will not continue study therefore have to get married off early.

Hahaha yeah just because of some people doing Open Burning, girls will get to wed early.

which reminds me of this person; Ema , a woman who is only 17 years old, whom I know only virtually, she is from Johor (!) and she got married to a teacher (cikgu agama graduate UK >.< ) last year and she just gave birth to their first daughter last week or so XD (congratulations.)

Its really ironic to see her FB wall full with people congratulating her for her new born baby, contrast to the other ~~typical~~quintessential 17-year old teen in JB 's FB wall which will be full with immature complains or narcissistic exclaims (HAHA). May God Bless Her.

p/s: Konsep Qada' dan Qadar menurut Ahli Sunnah Wal Jamaah; Segala yang berlaku adalah ketentuan Allah tetapi bergantung kepada ikhtiar dan usaha manusia sendiri :)

Of Korean Singers And How It Doesn't Matter If You Hate Them So

2011-09-03T23:52:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum :)

Coffee is keeping me awake because I plan to study tonight so there is no harm for me to go online now before I actually start studying..right?

(Truth: I planned to fill in my KPM Matriculation form tonight after weeks of buying the number and forgetting about it..but seems that I don't have all the info [blood type!] I need so it has to wait after all)

You know how there are the people who really have problems with K-POP-Obsessed-Individuals, to the extent that they insult them and have a lot to say (read: critique) about them?

Yeah well, I have cousins who excitedly go to these Korean Singer's concerts, and friends who memorize their songs (with the dance moves -.-). and a whole lot bunch of juniors who are so obsessed they do lots of unexpected things (haha). They also learn the language.

I know that a lot of people (you?) are really skeptical about these people and you think that they are wasting half their life devoting their souls to pretty boys (rambut macam mop (?) hahaha), and whatnot.

But hey, come to think of, we're speaking about people's preferences.

In the context of preference, there is no clear line of what is wrong and what is right. You can argue day and night, in the end, everyone has different preferences and different tastes and it is quite rude to lobby for yours when we should be respecting everyone's preferences.

For instance, I know this guy who has so much problems with girls obsessing with K-pop. But this guy is so preoccupied with Liverpool (just throwing in a random club name XD) and will stay up all night to watch Liverpool versing....er, everyone.

If spending time browsing Youtube for new MVs is wasting time. Why isn't watching 35 games of football wasting time?

If they wanna argue that there is something principally wrong inside those K-pop boy bands, I can also say there is something wrong in principle inside those soccer clubs. ie) Why can't some football players access their own medical records? hahaha.

Actually I'm totally fine with people giving their opinions. Saying why they choose not to support some causes and why they support some causes. Why they hate Paramore but love Linkin Park. Or why they think Malay movies are crappy and their songs are rubbish. Or why some NGOs are okay and some are not. You can/should say whatever you want.

But at the same time, people should totally be respecting the diversity of opinions we have in the society. Its not that vital for you to lobby and fight for your interests/opinions to the extent that you want everyone to agree with you (lets face it, people do that). Sometimes it goes as far as insulting other people's opinions. Just for the sake of saying you're right. Which is rude, especially if they're not your closest friends (who voluntarily tolerate you everyday).

Even if you want to spread religion. It isn't supposed to be in a manner where you insult other people's beliefs or way of expressing their beliefs just to tell people what you are saying is right. ( "dakwah bil hikmah" means a lot you know. ie) Doing the right thing at the right time in the right way )

I simply cannot accept people telling me in a dictating manner; "A is right, B is wrong, C is not good enough, therefore we should do A".

There are arts of reaching people, and saying things simply like that, and expecting people to do so because you say so, isn't going to attract people, it is going to force them and the inertia (ceh) doesn't last lost because it doesn't come with the awareness.

Like if you come up and say boy-girl texting is wrong, Chatting online is even more wrong, Speaking within different genders requires specific distance. For me, setting those ultra-specific rules goes as far as being just rules sometimes. It doesn't really create awareness or even real understanding - what more the initiative to follow and change oneself.

But of course, what is haram is haram.

But putting barriers without giving enough understanding to people is part of what makes a narrow minded society.

Boycotting Israel-Supportive Products. It isn't an obligation. Its a well-thought choice made by us to achieve something. But it doesn't make people who choose not to boycott at a standard where they do not care about Palestinians and they are causing Palestine to be oppressed. But what happens is we often see them as "bad" and "irresponsible" people.

But another thing which totally clashes with this is, justifying things for yourself. when we use our minds (solely) to disprove some principles, we must always remember that we're still in the learning process until the day we die, we will stay stupid if we don't learn from the wise, and they say that intelligent people always have the mindset that they lack knowledge and need more knowledge. Wallahua'lam. Correct me if I'm wrong.

p/s: I am actually a 100% non-fan of Korean Singers. I can't even recognize who is who because all of them look the same to me.hahaha. (I cannot believe I entitled this post like that above) XD

Time To Study

2011-09-03T17:24:00.000+08:00

my mom promised my 8 year old brother a Gameboy (or something like that ; can't remember!) if and only if he gets straight As, and he cleverly lobbied for "Straight As excluding Bahasa Arab = Gameboy", but his lobby failed. (He was in a bad mood for the rest of the day. He is going to study day and night after this, I promise you XD)

If A Standard Two kid worries that he cannot score straight As (which in fact is totally..blah --"), what more a Fifth Former (me!) with SPM Trials around the corner, thinking she wants straight As (A+) but without trying hard enough?

Pray for me (us). Pray that we have sustained interest and efforts to study hard enough (ditch "studying smart" now, its time we gear up and study real hard (separuh mati baru satisfying) haha, sorry lah) for SPM.

Eid (III)

2011-09-02T14:38:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum..

I'm sorry that this is the third post about Eid (HAHA). You must think that I have nothing better going on in my life (which is kinda true except if we consider my daily life interesting) but here is to you; My Hari Raya Celebration Story.

after pre-Raya makeover hahaha.

Eid morning; we'd all gather in this living room to Salam everyone and photo-shoot everyone. (actually they go to the Masjid for Solat Raya but I didn't go this year).

this year, (like last year) my mom set our baju raya as one colour per two persons. She said "Pening tengok gambar raya kalau semua sama warna" hahaha. this year, I don't know why, my Mom bought my Baju Raya for me (maybe because after countless efforts of searching 76 stores, I only got one pair. the time spent to buy and the number of bought products weren't proportionate =.=)

typical family picture..

Then we went to my Dad's side, 30 minutes away (I don't know why I'm telling the same exact story like last year haha maybe its Deja Vu but it isn't).

typical in-car photo shot session --"

When we arrived, too bad, a lot of people were already coming over to visit. After one (big) family, another, until, like 2.30 pm. It was quite tiring (because we had to serve then sit and ~~talk~~ listen then clear up everything then repeat the same progress for 15 families hahaha ~~kate rumah retis kena lah datang beraya~~ ahha). And it becomes boring (yeah, what can teens do when the elders want to talk for forever?!) at some point. Later when we finally got to go out Beraya we were exhausted so after 3 houses we went back.

How expensive/classy your whole attire is, even if you're Yuna ~~(Ain)~~ the thing I'm most keen to look at in women is still the shoes XD

my cousin who got the most Chinese genes Hahaha.

There was this one moment, my cousins' grandmother (not our mutual grandma but their grandma from their other side) (ye semua orang memang kenal semua orang haha. aku je tak kenal semua) asked me a question,

"Dalila, awak dah reti masak ke belum?"

HAHA. Aku gelak je lahh XD (Najihah kata kalau dengan orang tua taktau nak cakap kena gelak je lah) . Hehh mestilah reti sape tak reti mungkin takkan berguna untuk society at large hahaha -.-" . But the reason I don't cook these days is because cooking depends (heavily) on a lot of factors like; free time, my willingness, the necessity. (alasan). Lepas SPM nak suruh aku jadi maid full-time pun (mungkin) boleh (~~asalkan berbayar? XD~~)

Later we went back home to my Mom's side. The next day we went our beraya-ing again at so many houses. then we went back to JB -.-

one thing I like about Kampung houses, is the big space in front the house (but we love JB more hahaha!)

At JB, the first thing we did was we counted Duit Raya HAHA. OK BYE.

Eid (II)

2011-09-01T10:48:00.001+08:00

First Shot

18th Shot (so hard to get a decent picture arghh)

The only thing about Raya that you can only see once a year is the day that my brothers (and my Dad lah) actually want to dress up head to toe Malay Attire -.-

p/s: Songkok pun ada size ke?! 21 1/3 lah 21 1/4, 22 1/2 , 20 ?! hehh tak salah takyah ada fractions everywhere -.-"

SELAMAT HARI RAYA.

p/s: kenapa pula school-graduates get more duit raya from us (school goers) ? My sister already got rebate RM700 her entrance fee lahh! + her semester-based scholarship + her allowance from my parents + her edu fund. ingat varsity (matriculation) students miskin? zaman dah berubah. School students need the money more! we need to buy pens 13 times a year because we write too much essays -.- LOL.

Eid

2011-08-29T09:42:00.011+08:00

Assalamualaikum..

When I was living in the US, Eid was all about going to the Masjid (which wasnt even a proper building, it was just the second floor of a shop building or something like that) and there was an event to celebrate it. Sometimes Eid would be on working days so the Solat will be in the morning but celebration will be held after Zuhr or during odd hours (compared to Malaysia).

There was of course the Solat Eid, then Takbir Raya, then later there were performances by us kids (lol) like acting or singing (HAHAHA!!). Then we would get presents (not money) which were bought by different families every year. There was this one year which my parents got the turn to buy children's presents, so we went to Toys R Us for a whole day to buy them. The best part was we (me and my sister..I think my brother was still too young then) could pick our own haha. My sister picked this set of DIY flower bouquet where you had to paint the petals and then leave them to dry then assemble them into a bouquet.. I chose this set of alphabet beads to make bracelets and whatnot -.- I still have it now you know XD (tak faham en small girls' interests -.-")

We never went to any house visits..but I remember this one time we did, we visited this Arab family (whose Dad and Son shared the name of Muhammad if i'm not mistaked) and the mother handed us $50 for Raya Presents..lol.

But since I came back to Malaysia, EidulFitri was all about apologizing and visiting, not to forget - preparation of the food(s) a day before, cleaning the house and photographing session, also how Hari Raya was for a month (sorry lah sambutan Raya aku this year 3 days je. a day before, 1 Syawal and 2 Syawal).

Which is totally fine and totally fun XD.

Anyway, in the spirit of Eidulfitri (Malaysian Style), I have a lot to say.

I truly apologize for all of my misunderstandings, my misbehavior, my being dismissive, my ignorance, any form of my individualistic character/acts, my offensive words or acts, my neglecting of anything, my forgetfulness, my wrong prioritization, my lack of enthusiasm when needed XD, my obvious reluctance, my making big deals of anything, my disrespect, my dishonesty, my inconsistent stances, any of my wrongdoings to you, whoever you are for as long as I've known you.

I've been thinking a lot, I realized that I do a lot of wrong things which has completely no excuse for. I'm sorry that I can be such a disrespectful student in class (sleeping/talking in classes, passing notes apatah lagi XD). I've wronged my friends a lot, what with unfulfilled promises and lack of spending quality time with (hahaha!).

I've wronged my debate coach a lot perhaps >.<. what with opposing some things he says (in my rebelling state of mind; which is only SOMEtimes lah..twice a year or so haha! sometimes he reads my mind I think, because in the end semua aku cakap salah tak pernah betul langsung haihh -.-"). My juniors (I think I owe them a lot) , my team mates (lagi lah)

I'm sorry to my fellow Fifth Formers for anything and everything. ie) For not doing enough to help in Additional Mathematics, I feel really bad about this and hope we can all improve in Addmaths together :)

In the spirit of Ramadhan, I hope everyone can forgive me sincerely and not have anything unsettled left behind, inside you. [ May God Bless You and Reward You :) ]

During my latest Usrah, we talked about Apologizing. Both sides (apologizing end and forgiving end) are not at loss at all, it is a concept which is really hard to practice (yeah, actually saying sorry can be hard. Forgiving can be even harder) but Insyaallah it will be counted as good deeds, because saying sorry is an effort to strengthen ties (Silaturrahim); and forgiving is a form of Sadaqah (you give something but in reality you don't lose anything at all, in fact you gain something).

And hey, even if people offend us, and it is totally understandable for us to take offense and distant ourselves from them (or maybe even boycott certain events by them), but in another aspect, we would also feel sad if someone did that to us (distanced themselves or act upon anger). Do the nicest thing you can to people who do wrong things to you and you're actually making things a lot more better (woah thats hard >.<) .

Even if they are putting your pride at stake, you don't have to do that as well. Even if they get mad because you're not doing your part of something, and without defending yourself, you do your part, but suddenly that particular party cancels everything, well, maybe its better for us to ditch our offended feelings and look at the bright side-.-

Oh well.
Happy Eid Everyone.

p/s: I was never someone who expressed my disappointment towards anyone haha. I just can't. Tak reti langsung =.=" (Ohh baru ingat rupanya aku pernah marah during training early this year hahaha terkejut semua orang lol. everyone thought I gave up with the idea of Team 3 as a whole -.-" (eh, actually I love them all my heart <3 HAHAHA XD) Dahtu I came every night for trainings to go to Novice I think, and even though I didn't get to train myself I just sit and watch them train (haha), after 13 trainings, started okay but makin lama everyone started making unacceptable mistakes and no one seemed to want to work with me HAHA, ~~i guess maybe it was just PMS~~ but actually that was among the rare times I expressed my feelings sincerely haha! Sorry for that guys..that wasn't me actually. tak kenal sape LOL)

I know that its quite bad to keep everything reserved inside because my actions may not reflect truest sincerity when with that person, but I'm trying to cure this (HAHA). And you should do so too XD

Towards the end of Ramadhan..

2011-08-28T00:37:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum..

Raya Holidays started today, for one week..until 4th of September and then on 6th my SPM Trials starts.

Haha suddenly I remember something. One day ago, (actually, the date was 31st July) , I woke up (~~early~~) checked my phone and thought to myself, "Eh hari ni 31hb, Merdeka!" then I realised *lol* actually it was a month early hahaha.

So I guess Eid is coming up. 31st of August (actual Merdeka) is coming up. (I can't believe its been 8 months already this year , ~~eh malam-malam nak sentimental pulak diam je ahh~~ =.=)

Last few days, I attended Majlis Iftar B13 (I guess I was never patriotic enough to my Batch all this while hahaha) And the Talk that night was about "Why Islam" given by a Mualaf who converted into Islam years ago.. It was one of the best talks I ever went to :) I'd say, it built and strengthened a lot of people's faith that night.

He brought up this question "You are a Muslim, and you say that Islam is correct and other religions are not. But Christianity says the same thing. So now, why is Islam the correct religion, and Why are you a Muslim?" And he answered it towards the end of the session.

The Quran has been here since 1400+ years ago, and it contains information about science facts which were not possibly known at that time. So how can human manipulate facts when they didn't have the resources back then? Truly it was from the Creator.

Then there is the issue of the rules in Islam. No pork, no Zina etc. And you have to Pray 5 times a day, cover your aurah, fast in Ramadhan etc. All of these are not at all in the interest of Allah. He is not affected if you devote yourself or not. They are purely for the benefit and interest of us. ( and there are the analysis about each of them that we can make..)

And of course, there is a lot more.

Actually whats interesting is they're starting (already doing it) this program, by team ROSE . CRS - Comparative Religion Study, Malaysian-wide. Whats more interesting is it is given by a Mualaf (Muslim convert), which promises much more value because, hey, he searched for the truth and he's been doing it since forever, Alhamdulillah, he found it and now he's sharing it with us. (May God Bless Him).

ahaha; yeah, the one and only talk where no one intentionally fell asleep. That was how moving the talk was XD

This is part of it

---------------

Seriously, this Ramadhan is one with the most Iftar Events ever (quoting and agreeing with Rai XD) Last year I could plan 3 Iftars with my friends, each in different weeks but this year, a lot of other people planned for me already hahaha. ~~Patut buat je Iftar 1Hidayah gabung semua sekali kan senang~~ -.-)

1. Iftar Iltizam (started the whole phenomena in SMIH maybe)

2. Iftar Usrah F5 (slept at 2am talking about Life and our problems with it for two hours *lol* with Nadh and Nabila XD HAHA kau mesti tak percaya kan Dalila Kahar staying up that long speaking to the (ex-) Head Girl :') haha bangga seh got the chance to do that lol)

3. Iftar Halaqah F1 (hahaha, korang pandai-pandai ah hidup next month ni. I have trials remember?)

4. Iftar Depikir (paling tetibe..haha)

5. Iftar + Iktikaf Perdana

6. Iftar Malam Badar (lol. maybe we were supposed to pay attention to the Ceramah but no, we had to wander around the school ~~macamlah setiap hari tak pergi~~ -.- )

7. Iftar Batch13 (we finished eating at 8.45pm. Tak faham langsung-.- )

8. Iftar Keluarga Penyayang (haha, even though a lot of initial plans had to be changed, but it was okay lahh.not many came pun. the five of us bergossip je ah sambil layan Mus'ab yang ~~mengada-ngada~~ baik betul arghh)

On Friday the school held Majlis Khatam Quran. Even though I still don't see the significance of the event to be held (I mean, khatam Quran kena buat majlis khatam together ke?) but I really liked this year's event as a whole.

Started with Solat Dhuha Fardhi (alone), then khatam Quran, then perasmian, then tazkirah by Ust.Haris, then multimedia, then persembahan (not najahan this time, XD just saying), then bagi duit raya (yeah, it was quite odd - giving money to everyone. still unexplained and not understood. haha at least I'm RM3 richer now), then meet teachers and everyone to Salam Raya (HAHA my QTH teacher said: "Tak guna dapat cucu macam engkau!" because I cannot speak Negeri even though I go to N9 every year XD ..well.)

p/s: The best sadaqah isn't the highest in money value, but the best is the sadaqah that you give when you are most reluctant to give it.

Pray to HIM and HE will grant your doa'

2011-08-27T17:45:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum

My friend likes to tell me this; "Try think of what you prayed for, but you weren't given it?"

And well, what our answers will always be, is, there is none.

Everything has been answered, in one way or another.

Gods way of doing what He does is very unique, sometimes not understandable. He also gave us, human, our minds to think, energy to work, patience and hope.

Actually we don't really need everything we pray for, we should know that we are always given what we need.

So cheer up, even if the love of your life decides to leave you, or even if you fail consistently, there is always the part of the story which we don't know about yet.

Keep The Record On Play

2011-08-21T18:43:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum,

Yes, we don't see thing the way they are, we see things the way we are. Meaning that we rarely have a neutral and free stance on anything. one way or another, we still are unable to make clear judgments. Double standardizing? - happens everyday.

You will always find points to blame someone when he/she does a mistake, but you will always find points to defend yourself if you do the same mistake.

Human's perception, human's judgments and even human's law never serve enough check and balance. There are always big criminals getting away, and the small crimes being overly judged. Ie) The murderer of Nurin Jazlin (May God bless her) is still out there, living being unpunished. Why? Because even with Human's Law (The Judiciary System) , not all crimes get punished.

Sometimes our 70 good deeds aren't recognized, but our one sole small mistake is being repeated and remembered every day until we die.

Sometimes our intentions are misconceived by the people around us, if is good its said to be bad, if its bad, its said to be good.

But, hey, that doesn't matter. People's perception towards you will never be absolutely justified nor would it be absolutely accurate. They might think you're so great, but in reality you're not that great, they might think you're rubbish but in reality you're not even close to rubbish.

When we put our trust and faith in the Last Day/Judgement Day (Hari Akhirat), we should be putting every single deed to be judged by The Almighty.

We should be doing everything with the best performance we can, because we believe; that all our efforts are significant to our Creator.

We shouldn't be doing anything just for the sake of finishing it, to get over with it, because we believe; that our insincerity will also be taken into account by our Creator.

thats what they call a Professional Mu'min. In every job they will do their best, regardless of people's sayings, because they only serve to please their God.

Thats also what The Quran calls "Wasat" [2:143] , (Umat Pertengahan) ,

Thus We have made you [true Muslims - real believers of Islamic Monotheism, true followers of Prophet Muhammad and his Sunnah (legal ways)], a Wasat (just) (and the best) (medium) nation, that you be witnesses over mankind and the Messenger (Muhammad ) be a witness over you. [2:143]

Means we shall not do things exceeding the necessity level of requirements (which is what all of us truly hold on to, right?) , but we shall also not do things less than needed (which is what we always forget)

p/s: the first person who taught me this concept was, Najibah Nasruddin one day a long time ago :) Then a lot of people also told me this from time to time, and the latest was this Ustaz on Radio IKIM on the way to Bazar Ramadhan; lol XD

Does Food Have To Be Age-Appropiate?

2011-08-20T13:29:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

Just a few days ago I was complaining about how I never get a free two-day weekend nowadays, but today is a free Saturday (tomorrow will be a free Sunday) and I'm feeling quite bored already >.< My Dad went off for prep for Malam Badar, my brother went to Iktikaf Perdana (up until this evening), my sister (who happens to be home) as usual went out with her friends shopping perhaps ~~(haha takpuas hati seh aku)~~, and my Mom and my other brothers went out for a program for charity or something (?!) . ~~Hehh sedih ah home alone. dulu tak dapat duduk rumah menangis-nangis nak balik.eh exaggeration lol~~.

Last Thursay (actually two weeks ago), I had this Iftar at Nabila's homestay. haha. It was called "Iftar PRS Banat F5" haha nama macam bagus je, tapi actually its my group + the other group's Iftar lah. (Pengetua dah masak untuk kteorang XD peluang keemasan/limited edition lol!) .Too much food, the next day we had to figure out what to do with all the leftovers haha.

On the next day, I had another iftar with my MDP group.. Ni lagi pelik. After Solat Maghrib, they wanted to photo-shoot themselves first and then after some time baru nak makan (?!) whatever -.-" . Too much food jugak tapi bagus XD . Ice cream !

Speaking about food, I don't know if its me being paranoid (?) or what, but I've noticed that there are certain foods that I think adults don't usually eat hahaha. Like, Oreo. Or Hello Panda. Or Cool Blog. Or lollipops. Or Cheese Burgers. >.<

Its not understandable. hehh.

My mom and dad don't eat food like Oreo and they don't drink choc milk (but its funny that they have to buy it all the time hahaha). I never met adults (or maybe, er, specifically past-40 year old people) who eat things like, er, cotton candy, or Gardenia Twiggies (haha where did those come from?).

I don't think that consumption of food should/does have age as a limiting factor, but actually, maybe it does..

Because, pelik kan kalau your Grandfather likes Burger King?!

And its also weird if adults don't eat vegetables. Or spicy food. -.-

But its weird if kids eat ~~weird~~ uncommon food like zucchini or budu (?!) or ulam (?!) or hempedu (can we even eat those?!)

Its also weird if kids don't eat sweets and chocolate..

And basically we grow up understanding that "when we get older we will like veggies" but whats the reason? Suddenly its more edible ?

actually why don't you just force feed everyone everyday, ie) babies, from the start with veggies ~~until they get sick of it~~ if its so important? Then you won't have to deal with a lot of people who pick out their veggies (LOL! ~~aku lah tu~~) from (even) fried rice.

Why should I want to eat certain things just because I'm old enough/not old enough?

Do things taste differently when you're 5 and 50?

haha.

Happy Ramadhan (although its not really about food).

p/s: today my timetable (first time I am actually attempting this studying timetable system to my life hahaha) says I am due to study Biology F4! ahhh Trial SPM getting closer tak tau dah nak lari mane.. >.<

Kalau nak A+ Sej maximum salah boleh tolak 12marks, kalau dah tolak 47 markah macamane? -.-

In a way, your friends shape you.

2011-08-17T11:14:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum..

You know how when you and your friends were 13 (I think this only applies for girls), your biggest dilemma was friendship problems and you cry all night just because you think your friend changed, and you'tr really upset with her changing?

Then the next problem was how everyone in your batch would have problems with you not mixing with others - just sticking with your own little circle of friends - assabiah and whatnot? Budak tahfiz tak mix dengan non-tahfiz lah haish masalah betul.

Then later you just move on with your life, and at the end, after some time, you consider everyone your friend, you know what type of person they are, you know what they like and what they hate, you know their views on certain stuffs.

Its quite immature you know, having problems like "despising" one person from the class next door, when its actually like a puzzle, everyone is a piece that assembles it all together. all weaknesses and strengths put together baru dapat a beautiful puzzle lah.

I guess friends are in a way , a form of God's Blessing to you. They say that "God gives you sakeenah, thats tranquility. How? Maybe its a peaceful sleep, maybe its a loving wife" Maybe its great friends.

I have a friend, who I just knew for a few months at that time, waking up to perform Qiam to pray for my team's Finals one time ago. And she read Yaa Sin for us everyday during that competition. she got really mad at someone who got mad at me (hahaha). lol (May God Bless Her)

And I have another friend who never fails to reply to Text messages. haha. even if it is just to say "haha" . You can always count on her to entertain you even at odd hours lol.

I have some other friends who will buy you things with no conditions, just to make you happy haha. Like SR cakes, or Ice Kimo, or Cool Blogs (or baju kurungs when you ask for it) (tak tau malu langsung mintak orang hahaha XD Kata kawan).

Or some other friends who will listen to everything you say and laugh with you.

Or the ones who never forget you in their prayers.

Or the ones who always put themselves at the last of their prioritization list, always trying to make you happy before themselves.

And some who will think of your small and continuous "problems" like "esok nak buat training ke tak? cepat fikir. kalau buat kena bagitau ustazah kena buat surat kena bagitau orang kena plan nak buat ape" even if its not their problem hahaha. Or stays up with you to listen to everything you have to say. (And forces you to drink weird things for your own benefit haha)

Or those who will explain to you addmath questions that are so damn hard, or who translate malay to arabic words for your attempts to write Arabic essays. haha.

And those who will tell you everything to just have you listening or at times giving your opinions. Even their darkest secrets that they never tell anyone else.

~~Or the ones who force you to call them first on the day that someone proposes to you LOL XD~~

Haha when thought of, there are a lots of people with such noble hearts in this world who are around you. but you always forget of them and focus your days too much on the few people who break your heart and hurt your feelings and who are upset with you or upset you. hahaha >.<

I thank my friends for everything :)

who have been there since forever XD

or who just put up with your strange ideas and attitudes (and may even emulate it) (lol)

or those who goes through the same depressions you get resulting from the pressure to strive

and they always make you check back your intentions.

p/s: hey for me good friends are the ones you can drag around the mall all day, and share sick ideas, who also talk to you about the real purpose of life and the things we should do to fulfil it.

Seniority Isn't Something You Celebrate, Its More Of An Obligation Perhaps

2011-08-14T14:51:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum

Seniority is (according to Wiki) ; The concept of a person or group of people being in charge or in command of another person or group. This control is often granted to the senior person(s) due to experience or length of service in a given position

Lets speak in the context of Fifth Formers of schools right now

Going towards the end of 2011, I honestly see a change in behavior in some people which is probably because they deem themselves as seniors (in other words: superior over others).

I can totally understand and accept the concept that seniors are often in a higher position in the hierarchy and maybe, seniors have this "self-assured feeling" to walk tall without feeling intimidated by the surroundings.

Yeah well, there isn't anymore of the fulfillment you tie yourself to, which is to be on seniors' good book (or whatnot). Dulu buat salah sikit ngan senior, paling takut kalau senior semua datang confront kau kan ?

But it is absolutely not smart for a senior to think they are in a position to Bully others, just because they think its fun & its a laughable matter. (totally immature in my view. what, you just do it then you feel the pleasure of it, then you tell the story again and again to laugh about it? Cheap fun. Aku nak fun takyah pun that much of effort sampai kena approach beramai-ramai one insignificant person. pergi shopping lagi fulfilling & lagi bagus XD)

And it is also not smart to think that now is the time to break all the rules of life (with an assured feeling that no one will want to report you & heck you're leaving school soon). Hehh, i don't mind that much about people breaking the law, but to me, everything we do should be something beneficial (and boleh jadi hujah kat Akhirat). tapi while you're doing those crimes (ie: go out with your "dearest and closest" friends, or, doing some "very important" business), you have to remember that,

one: there is always the check and balance later, Hell or Heaven, Syurga or Neraka. There is always the Judgement Day. Whats right will always be right and whats wrong will be wrong.

two: kau nak berjaya sangat SPM, keberkatan penting kot. if you start lying to your parents, your teachers, is it really something that you think will help you later?

Next, I also don't think its right for you to be so proud of all of your wrongdoings, and laugh off people's advice. I mean, a lot of people are around you saying things to you, trying to give you a helping hand. obviously, if you go up and view it not in your view but view it with Eagle View ( haha XD ) its really off the limits, if you want to make fun of it & just laugh about it.

I mean, for four years, you've been listening to these ideas and you already understand by now about everything there is to understand. How come towards the end of your schooling period, you can simply make fun of it as if it isn't true?

Its really saddening if we don't realize the fact that, to succeed, it isn't as easy as reading textbooks, ref books, doing exercises, and doing study groups all month. Its also about God's help & God's blessings. Its the basic reason why we even live, right? to attain God's blessings. by doing things which doesn't satisfy HIM, how can we expect HIM to do things to satisfy us?

I really don't like to judge people, deeming them nice or deeming them bad. There might be an explanation for everything. We have to consider what we don't know, right. so I guess its best if we just reflect on ourselves, make sure we're doing the correct thing and make sure our friends are doing the correct things.

Hey its the month of Ramadhan. They say its a bonus for us to cleanse our souls.

May Allah grant us all light to see the correct pathway and May Allah grant us the conscience to follow it. May we succeed in life.

Iftar Iltizam and Everything Else Hahaha

2011-08-07T13:33:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

This week I started re-schooling (haha) and now a few things have changed. ie the Musolla is now painted GREEN. Despite the fact that its sort of FD gler (FD: Fashion Disaster, code speaking lol XD) but well, lets celebrate the fact that we now have a new surrounding to pray in ;)

Some teachers have left the school to resume studies. Morning assembly's format has (in a way) changed. 5 Ikhlas's Air Conditioner has been replaced (and now we, in Iltizam have unofficially made a table of duty (not really) to turn their air-cond which always turns itself off, on -.- )

I have 4 months left in my life to go to school lah hahaha. It should excite one in a way.

On Tuesday we had Bengkel Teknik Menjawab for English.

Then on Thursday we had it for Bahasa Melayu (yeah the subject I recently got a C in!). Actually it was the first time I actually poured a lot of efforts for BM, what with this new year with a different teacher who stresses a lot on the supposed ways to answer Essay Questions, hehh, tapi penat je jawab semangat gler tapi Karangan Terpesong, automatic markah under 25/100 haiish mana aku tau soalan dia nak apa BM memang pelik -.- . but in the end my full mark was 13 more marks to get an A- though (to my defense, HAHAHA actually I'm quite good in BM lah aku orang Melayu cakap melayu ~~tapi against ketuanan melayu?~~ jangan lupe). walaupun last year in UB2, Bayan I described as 'tampan' and 'baik hati' when Bayan is actually a BIRD!! Hey masalahnye sape yang akan tau Bayan is an animal?! ~~Tak study untuk BM kot time tu lol.~~

Anyway, the point is, I now am very cautious in writing BM sentences, taking care of the grammar and all that , because of the Bengkel. ~~Yeah I'm that lame~~

On Thursday also, I had usrah in the morning & afternoon. after missing 3 meets of it (or so) I looked forward to it. Usrah memang bagus haha. It leaves you with a feeling that you haven't done something good enough so you should do it after this.

On Friday, it was the day we were waiting for. lol. Everyday since Tuesday everyone in my class was talking about the food we craved for in Ramadhan (?) and how we should have it during our Iftar on Friday. lol. ~~We are a bit pathetic in that sense.~~ But anyway, at 12.35 I went to Qarie's with Najihah, Nadh and Ain. Then, for really justified reasons, later Qarie, Ain and I went to JT (!!) and we got home later that planned so that explains our late arrival to our Iftar hahaha Sorry Lah It Won't Happen Again XD

But as a whole I had a really great time. Although maybe we, girls, forgot of some rules that actually apply to us whenever we're in this group of people (haha), well, human can forget right. Sorry on our behalf.

p/s: Credits to Qarie for the pictures.

Bye Gotta Go.

I should really be offline forever so stop distracting me

2011-08-02T19:17:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

At some point now I can browse through my textbooks and think "What the hell is this all about?" and then I'll close the book ~~and go to sleep haha~~ and do something else. I can't force myself to remember everything I supposedly know about Redox reactions (or whatnot) when yes, I know I am obliged to do so quickly by now.

So this is my plan, (I'm telling it because you shouldn't distract me from it lahh XD)

I have 11 SPM subjects. and I have 30 days before Trials. So in three days I'm gonna try cover one subject but for Languages, two days each.

I don't know how much one can learn in three days about 76 topics per subject (HAHA XD) but lets just accept what we have and try (haha)

Hey pray for me (and everyone else) in SPM aite.

p/s: now my problem is this; everyone is now telling me of Iftar plans (meaning: no study) and hey I said I wanted to stay at home lahh! -.- but well yeah. whatever. I'm going offline forever remember. Bye.

Ramadhan is Here

2011-07-31T23:18:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum..

Hope we all enter and end Ramadhan in view of being a better servant of God, a better friend, a better daughter/son, a better student and overall becoming a better person.

Happy Ramadhan..

Well what you learn is the most important thing; at the end of the day.

2011-07-29T14:21:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

My school years are almost over and I guess the 10th IDC would be my last Inter-school tournament..~~Maybe next year, I'll miss the Dinners. Or the Mahallahs. Even the CAC building. Who knows?~~

I guess its kinda old news already, but anyway. This is what happened in IIUM last two weeks.

This year we went by car/van (Thank God!). And on the way we watched debate videos (?!!!) in the car, stopped in the middle of them and Syaima' was asked to rebut that speaker. (hahaha yeah its that bad)

We got to the Mahallah, and the first thing Maryam and I did (although we had our own, we shared a compartment because we're like so outnumbered everywhere compared to BM & BA. so we should just make sure we're not bothering anyone and highlight our insignificance lah kan, if you get what I mean XD) was we created curtains for our room out of an extra bed sheet and we battled with the bed trying to put sheets on (!!). ~~It was really physically challenging~~ seriously . lol.

Whats really great about this room was that we actually got to mingle with the school's Arabic Debaters (meant in a nice way) and that was something quite new. One, they're really really loud..and two, they're really really hardworking. Every free time was spent with going online (NOT FACEBOOKING) researching , or just discussing. haha. Ustazah is also really cool. every day we get really tired that we rarely hear the alarms for Qiam Prayers, and ustazah (despite hearing and dismissing our ridiculous alarm tones) will let us sleep until Subuh and then wait patiently for us and then Subuh, Ma'thurat, together.

Anyway, dinner wasn't that grand. The next day we had round 1.

R1 - THW Ban Smoking Completely. We were proposing. Against an MRSM from Sabah (cool right?!)

R2 - THW Impose a Quota on Plus-Sized Models on Runways (aaargh squirrels (not debating what motion wants) from Govt is really frustrating but when thought back, quite fun lah XD. the tension and stress listening to 7 minutes of PM and not getting anything..lol)

R3 - THW Criminalize the Ownership of All Pets (I Hate all debates about animals aargh!)

R4 - THBT The People's vote (referendum) not the Govt should decide on whether the Lynas project should go on (ada jugak rupanya pasal LYNAS, I thought it wouldn't come out)

R5 - THBT Optimus Prime Should Rule The World (Humour round! we broke the jinx that SM Islam Hidayah can't win humour rounds XD ~~tak humorous langsung kot aku sorry lah~~ HAHA)

R6 - THBT Feminist movements should support the womens rights to wear the hijab (ayat paling extreme from opp not from us: "Malaysians Should Take Off Their Hijabs" whatever)

We won all rounds (very unexpected in my view. Winning in IIU pre-lims has always been something extraordinarily hard in past years)

We ranked first. Broke first. Got to go straight to Octo's.

Octo's: THBT Stay At Home Fathers Should Be Prioritized over Career mothers during custodial battles.

These are other motions I dislike aaaaargh. About family, maternal leave, child interest argh.

Hehh my worse speeches were during knock-out rounds by the way. HAHA. At crucial times where we had to win, we tend to not care-that-much about the 2nd speech (my speech) as much as the 1st speech. so rather than me working on my own speech in prep, I work with Maryam (my 1st speaker lah). hahaha. ~~Qarie sorang je akan faham how badly 2nd speakers are discriminated, right.~~ So I partially blame the system. LOL. (cari salah orang, salah sendiri tak nampak XD)

We won by 2-1 split. (!!!!!! so close to losing!!)

Quarter's: THBT the legal guardian of mentally handicapped individiuals should be held liable for crimes they committed. (we were Opp)

1st speaker from Govt was so good. I honestly felt so threatened by him since he started his speech.

Won by 3-2 split (again, 1 adj changing his mind could change the decision ! )

Semi's: THBT The US should have not cut its military aid to Pakistan

This time, our prep was based on our various assumptions on what would have happened. The day before our coach was telling us about it (but I was half-asleep I think lol) but Alhamdulillah, we got an overview of it. But we had a lot of theories and didn't know which one was most acceptable haha.

Final's: THW Invalidate Electoral Results Where Voters Turnout Is Less That 70%

In the time gap between Semi's and Finals, we went to CAC to watch Arabic Finals (my school vs SMAP Labu) . I was quite determined to research but anyway, we went to the Surau to sleep haha. Then we had to go to the rehearsal. We answered this question form along with SDAR for Meor to introduce us in the finals between speeches (and Meor totally exploited our answers lahh -.- )

Then later that night they announced Top 10 Best Speakers. I got ranked #3. Maryam got ranked #10.

That night we went back and packed and slept. haha ~~(no post-mortem for once~~)

The next day we went to the closing ceremony.. Watched BM Finals.. then listened to speeches.. then the announcement;

one, tak surprise langsung announcement dia haissh dah lah announce Best Speaker dulu.

two, we won the final round!

(then we had to go and meet the media *lol and take pictures. took away lunch but never ate it - "bukan tak lapar tapi, dah kenyang kan" - ustazah Zuraidah said

Alhamdulillah.

I want to thank our debating trainer for his endless efforts and prayers for us. I'm really sorry I failed to regain my last year stressing-on-issues "abilities". I'm also sorry that break rounds were kinda worse than Pre-lims. Hey your efforts are noted and here is to our coach, winning this and Musleh. It reflects his contribution. Couldn't have done it without him.

Also to Kak Jannah. Kak Amnah. And Kak Farhana. Who kept nodding while we were speaking (macamlah kteorang betul sangat hahaha!)

And to appreciate my teammates. Thanks for everything. I'm also sorry for everything. I know that I was supposed to deal with the LO but I didn't. I know that I was supposed to elaborate & analyze my points to the extent that I can support our team line, but I rarely do.

Maryam, you can go really far, don't ever think of doing that stunt (quitting next year - eh TERcakap) because you'll totally face a lot of hardships from everyone HAHAHA.

To my parents who actually allow and support me all the way. (and fetch me from school and even put up with my mood) . Who wanted to come to KL to watch our finals but didn't manage to.

Teachers. Fellow club-mates. Debate seniors. School society. Thanks ehh.

p/s: I wrote this days ago. Only got the chance to post this today. ;p

up next would totally be about ASDC, jangan risau.

We didn't break in ASDC. We also didn't win much.
but I would add by saying that judging face value is really easy.
I can't say that I'm not disappointed at all but yeah, as they say, ada hikmahnya.. :)
Its best that we keep husnuzhon (bersangka baik) with our Creator because He knows best.

Standing Your Grounds

2011-07-11T19:25:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum

What I have always failed to understand from the world around me is the fact that a lot of people think that when they're right, everyone else seems to be wrong.

Yes, I know its important for you to make people understand the "correct" ideologies for the betterment of the society (and whatnot) . And I agree that if the people start accepting and implementing wrong principles in their lives, it could go all the way out of limit.

But I like to think that every time we fight for something it should be based on Hak & Batil (i don't know any other words to show that meaning) . Not for something that we think is justified and okay. Why? So that we don't get questioned in front of Allah s.w.t.

Being an influencing factor for people to sway away from what they're supposed to do; is something really wrong and really shameful.

Being the ones who make others' objectives harder to achieve, is the worst thing a friend could do. (this is the sole point that I still remember from Mukhayyam Form 5 2011 lol)

Fight for something not based on your political party, your friends, your parents, your views, but fight for the right thing.

and yeah, if we demand for a cleaner election, we also need cleaner souls . lol.

The small things

2011-07-06T00:01:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum

During Musleh ISDC

1) We had to buy breakfast from Petronas on Day One and all of us crashed into 808 to eat. Everyone was there haha. Ustazah was repeating the same story to everyone of how "bayar beribu-ribu, tapi makan nasi bungkus" . haha.

2) As soon as we got our room keys and we went in, everyone was kinda screaming (tengah bengang kot) Because some people were being emotional of a guy who was making fun of of them as they spoke (very inappropriate and dirty tactic lah -.-) . haha it was kinda funny, three people interpreting the situation differently and all trying to convince me and Maryam about what they think. In conclusion, everyone was freaking mad at that time. One was saying "DIA CAKAP "TIPU!!" IN THE MIDDLE OF MY SPEECH" and another said "DIA BARING2!!" haha. Actually I wanted to laugh *sorry. Because later when Rai asked "Macamane tadi?" they said "Ok je" -.-'

3) After we finished the 5th round, some IIU debaters approached us asking how was the last round. We said "very confusing" . and they started commenting about the reply speeches that they got to watch. Later they were asking us "What do you wanna do after school?" I said "I don't know yet" then they asked when were we going to finish school, and they promoted IIU to us. haha (macamlah our seniors haven't been doing that for so long). They said "You can go all around the world" "You have potential to join debate world wide" etc etc -.-

4) We watched Hidayah vs Hidayah (BM) one morning. It was right after we went to Petronas (and Sajiah bought 7 tins of coffee -.- ). Baru tau basement ada debate venues. haha.

5) On the day of finals, we went down for Subuh & Kuliah (~~just to get the feel of it~~ eh no, we wanted to learn something XD). (so much for the 18 alarms we put on to wake up at 4.30am *lol*, of course no one attempted to turn them off/wake up) But we were the earliest girls to arrive, and after that came some others. The thing is, after the tazkirah which was so not in the interest of girls (couldn't even hear him) , we had nowhere to go cuz we were locked out of our rooms because some people can't wake up (haha) so we didn't have anywhere to go. we went up the elevators (where someone accidentally pressed the "emergency call" button and we kinda freaked out) and down and lastly we went for breakfast at 7. We met a lot of people. Proves our theory that everyone starts their day early except for us aha.

6) After the whole tournament ended, everyone hanged out in the hall for a long time (taking pictures and whatnot).. then when we finally moved on, we went to hang out in the Surau (gaduh pasal iron XD), then in the Lobby. We went to Petronas to buy whatever we wanted. Sajiah belanja me (and Maryam) Ice-cream for being champs *lol. Maryam belanja me Coffee haha for being "best speaker". Farhan bought us dinner as a "present" and Ulfah gave us MnMs for breaking *haha. bagus en ;) this was better than the trophies. Although people won't want to buy me anything for no reason but thats fine. it takes a lot to make them want to spend on me XD

Heh, now we're back to school. Learning of how to prove that; sin A + cos A = cosec A / tan A (or whatever) . Then what? why in the world would anyone ask us to prove something like that for no reason?!

p/s: Ulfah overheard adjs talking about the finals.. they said "I like the way the PM characterized the debate" Hebat ah Maryam XD

p/p/s: Thanks a lot for everyone for the great time (and the Ice cream/coffee/junk food/chocs/MnMs/KFC) . Hey BTW I just remembered, you guys haven't paid me back my money.. lol.

BTW, It Was A 4-3 Split Win

2011-07-05T02:47:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

I don't know which version of the story do I want to tell actually.

Judging face value (total win, scores etc), it may seem fine and successful; but the reality isn't as great XD

My Team Report would go like this;

Pre-lims;

R1: We won the debate but got criticized badly lol. "Your points lacked analysis" "You responded to stupid ideas and it gave me a headache"

R2: The adj said "I don't know but I've seen you do better.. Your rebuttals were sharper in KDU CQ Teo" (mane boleh ingat and compare pulak tu -.- )

R4: Lost. The adj said: Your reply speech made your premise clear. and that made you lose. Hahaha. Because there were two main ideas in the debate and our premise only made one side to us.

R5: Won. Adj said: "The conclusion on your side was correct, but the arguments were stupid"

So we won 4 out of 5. We ranked 2nd with 1335 speaker scores.

QF: We went against Hidayah B. felt like trainings at school -.- . Maryam and I switched positions, haha.

Semi-Finals: We were prep-ing in a really loud surrounding and that really didn't help the fact that we didn't know what to say exactly. we resulted to search for related things in our fact files (lol). the room was extremely full, we didn't even have space to go in. Why did everyone want to watch Semi's..?!! baik duduk je bilik, watch HBO lol.

Hey we learned later that we're going to the finals

(lets try to forget the fact that Semi's was one of our worst rounds, there was a contradiction from our side, actually I realized it but I tried to play it low, and just go on. Haha, it was us saying "Malaysians aren't even patriotic" but my argument was about "Malaysians are extremely patriotic")

The final round was themed Religion. I already thought it would be that, because religion hasn't come out yet, but then again I thought that it wouldn't come out, because Religion isn't something you wanna debate in public especially in Malaysia.

The coin toss was in favor of us. We were Government. (We're never Government in finals, haha) The motion was "THBT Fear Shouldn't Be Used As Means To Propagate Religion to Children" (actually we've once discussed this motion sometime in March)

I'm not sure of what the audience would think of the debate. People already have opinions on the issue , before they hear the debate, so basically it didn't really matter. I mean, some already believe that if fear can make children devote themselves to their religion, then why not? So they thought Opp could win. But some others think that faith isn't something you should force into your children so they believe in gentler approaches, so they thought we could have won. et cetera.

What mattered was whether or not we did our best to play our roles to help support our side. And that, only we will know of.

And because only God knew how long it took to actually know the results, we actually didn't have anything to do. We actually wanted to sleep (!!) but we made a mistake returning our room keys early haha.

We watched BM Finals, whilst questioning a lot of what both sides said. Adibah was saying "For me its no big deal" or "Orang masuk Kelab Bahasa Cina nak belajar Cina lah bukan sebab dia Cina" Haha, once a whip always a whip lah >.< .

I now know how to win BM debates. one) You have to question (pertikaikan) the definition until the end. two) you have to say things like "harap tudung labuh tapi buat fitnah" or "kita jangan biarkan ego lelaki mereka" -.- .

One thing I realized is, sometimes I just don't understand how some judges could say good things about a very shallow debate (not referring to anyone).. I watched a round; it wasn't my school's team btw, and they just argued about whether or not a husband would marry another woman after he has married 2 women. I'm not downgrading their debates, but hey, think again, its quite unjustifiable lah. And at the end of the day they were debating assumptions. Adjudicators should just be frank. Some told us it was a close debate, a very good debate, when the marks were below average and the margin was 7. -.- 7 isn't close at all.

Long story short (haha XD), at last it was the closing ceremony. They started with speeches of course. ~~I went Facebooking 35% of the time Ha-ha~~. I had genuine interest in the Deputy Minister's speech because his spoke of things that I could agree to..

Then they announced everything they had to announce.

We won the final debate

Alhamdulillah. Its quite obvious when thought back, how God helped us from the start, when we got Side Govt (even when we wished we were Opp), and when the motions were reasonable for us (even though the third one didn't make sense), and when we compared motion ranks they were in favour of us.. up until when He made that last adj decide.

I thank everyone as well.

-------------------------------------------

haha actually a lot of things happened. Like how the other team got so pissed off with a rude observer who made faces at them. (and a lot more)

But I gotta go.
Bye.

On stage, the photographer asked us to fake a conversation with the Deputy Minister. lol. He asked "Ada tak kat sini yang berminat nak jadi ahli politik?" haha of course no.

Hey Its Been 10 Days

2011-06-29T21:39:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

Its been a long time since the last time I got to stay at home to watch NCIS on Monday nights, or study Biology with genuine interest, or play my playlist on and on like there is nothing better to do, or go out to Jusco to walk around to buy nothing. Ha-ha.

I've got my PS1 results. Don't worry its not a secret lah. I didn't get straight A+ nor did I get straight As lah.

PQS A

PSI A+

SEJ A

Math A+

Addmath B+

Biology A-

Physics A-

Chemistry A

BAT A

BI A+

BM C+

I am so not lying.

Tomorrow's Debat MUSLEH. Until Sunday.

and I'm here to say I'm sorry for everything wrong that I've done to everyone.

Sometimes I think, kurang ajar jugak seh aku. huhu. I never ever meant to hurt anyone's feelings in anything I do.

I hope we can all learn something from everything that happens.

Bye.

Rabbi yassir Wa La Tu assir. Pray for me.

Still Living This Life XD

2011-06-20T21:56:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum and Hello everyone.

Hehh Heres my uninteresting life stories.

-Got a few As and one B (so much for wanting straight As. never mind)
-Bangunan baru sekolah almost complete so sekarang dah tak nampak Cikgu keluar bilik guru nak masuk kelas haihh

-Kelas dapat tikar baru (?! mungkin suruh kunci pintu & tidur bila takde orang)
-Got 1 pair of Baju Raya already (!!) haha.
-Math Olympiad (DIE!!) mungkin markah kosong haha. Nak faham soalan pun 15 minutes, dah faham tau nak jawab tapi reti lah pulak kan hehh. fikir sampai bila-bila pun mungkin dapat teori tapi takkan dapat jawapan haha. Sorry lah XD Bengang seh "Polygon with 2011 sides" Hahh. Mengarut.
-Skipped one day of school (lol)
-Ustazah called me one day and said "Esok pergi lawan friendly dengan STF, no excuse..". Haha no excuse.
-Oh debate training mestilah sepanjang zaman XD.
-Ujian Lisan PQS. Surah As-Sajadah/Yaa Sin. Haha selalunya for Hafazan Questions the teacher reads one random Ayat and we have to repeat and continue. My question was "Sila Baca Awal Surah As-Sajadah" XD .

oh yes, Alhamdulillah.

Book; Bio-Mekanik Solat

2011-06-16T13:01:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

Er yes, I support bloggers writing blogs.

More than I support Facebook or other social networks.

I think I want to start restricting myself from blogging too much after this. I plan to drastically decrease the number of posts every month (haha we'll see..) because I think blogging can be considered a hobby, and in my world, i think this is the time to suppress hobbies in order to start focusing more on everything else like Musleh/IIU/ASDC/Rejab-Shaaban/Ramadhan/SPM Trials/SPM >.<

Oh well.

Actually I've meant to talk about a book I'm currently reading. (I now admit that I am a slow reader of Malay Books especially, for no specific reason. Some people finish a novel in less than 5 hours but I would take almost a week hahaha. maybe its just that my interest in reading has decreased(?) )

And actually I don't read non-fiction books that much *haha. I do read blogs or articles or magazines of intellectual writings, but books, er, not so much. ~~Because too much of a boring thing, discourages me from continuing reading haha.~~

But in my opinion, this particular book is quite interesting (and inspiring). It was written to improve the quality of our "daily obligations" (or as the book says it; "Urusan Penting") as a Muslim which is, Solat. Yes, Solat.

I have no idea how it ended up in my room. When I was going through my books suddenly I found this book XD .

Maybe in the past I was attempting to read it but never passed the Intro part.. lol.

And another thing I don't understand is, when did my Dad/Mom buy it?

and another thing; the reviews in the book by readers are from familiar people - parents of people I know.. (?!)

Its a book about how to get Khusyu' in Solat. How to set your mind to think solely of Our Creator in Solat, in very practical ways. Its not the typical article that says "Amat rugi sekiranya kita tidak khusyu' dalam Solat. Tetapkan hati dan fikiran, jangan fikirkan urusan duniawi...etc"

Its more about;

Kalau khusyu' itu maksudnya tenang, kita pelajari kaedah menenangkan diri.

Kalau khusyu' itu menumpukan kepada bacaan, kita pelajari teknik membaca dgn berkesan.

Kalau khusyu' itu 'bercakap' dengan Allah, kita pelajari ilmu berkomunikasi dgn berkesan.

Kalau khusyu' itu mengosongkan fikiran, kita pelajari ilmu penumpuan fikiran. etc

So it tells you (ie) about how the human body can be controlled. For example, a Golf Player has to focus on the golf ball for a long period of time before he actually takes his hit, and even the sound of supporters can disturb his focus. But he manages to focus to actually play the game.

A sprinter has to run for 100m and the few minutes before he starts (and during the run), he has to be "Selfish". Its all about him. Before he starts he has to put his mind on the 100m he's going to sprint for, during the sprint he has to gain control of all his movements and constantly apply the correct techniques.

So during Solat we are supposed to gain momentum starting from when we hear the Azan, or when we take our Wudhu'. Its time to be selfish and care less about everyone else and anything else.

And the book says, if after Iqamat we're still speaking to people, or taking calls, we have a high chance of not wanting to try to be khusyu' in the Solat. (or if we're still browsing Biology textbooks just moments before Takbiratul Ihram, (yelah exam Biology 2 after this kan?) we're obviously not setting our minds to Solat)

Hehh so lets read the book. You'll have new perspective about Solat. Maybe for us its simply something we have to and want to do daily, so we do it. But we dismiss the idea of the emptiness in our 5 times daily prayer if we're thinking of a lot of other things during it -.- .

I'm now on page 35 (haha) and have another 90+ pages to go.

p/s: sebab tu kat sekolah Pengawas dari dulu tak kasi buat halaqah & buat bising kat Musolla before Zuhur. Its not just about "doing the prefect's job so the prefect has to force everyone to stop talking and masuk saff so that she doesn't get asked about it" ,

the Peraturan is also about "helping you to think of the right thing - not about The Guy(s) You Are Stalking or about What A Guy Did To Me or about What Happened Yesterday or about Our Next Outing - but about your "urusan penting" that you're about to perform in a few more minutes..

May God bless us all.

Of Bus Drivers

2011-06-11T09:55:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum

I can say that I don't ride buses that much, compared to other people I know. ~~Tapi daripada Sa**** first time nervous sebab naik bas express time Novice lagi tak faham. p/s: I know you're reading this.. sorry XD~~ .

I've never gone to school by bus, except for the year when I went to school in the US but that doesn't count, my Dad sent me off everyday hahaha I was 7 years old! Oh and the driver was a woman! Her name was Susan XD Cool gler drive bas! (I've expressed my interest in bus driving to Najihah but she doesn't understand!! Hehh don't imagine driving Bas Express Malaysia, imagine lah driving J.B's Road Tour Bus yang ada their whole daily life necessities in it XD)

But actually I wanted to talk about this one (or two) particular bus driver(s) haha. On the way to and back from Penang that day, we went on the same bus (agak loser tapi takpe. dah habis dah semua tu) and fortunately the same drivers -.- (pelik gler memule jumpe kat JB pastu dah sampai penang pastu jumpa kat penang & dah balik JB hahaha)

Actually I've never heard of that bus company at all before this. But we were late to buy the tickets so of course other people already bought seats for the normal buses, and there were tickets from a more familiar bus company, at noon tapi tak macam merepek sangat, nanti sampai lambat sangat nak program ape?! So this bus seemed to be the most logical one to ride.

So actually, being the typical skeptical and prejudice teenage girls ~~who never ride buses~~, we were reluctant to go on that bus. ~~aku cakap ditch that bus and amek je bas henti-henti pergi CS sekarang jugak, duit yuran kita guna untuk shopping, takyah pergi Penang, semua taknak~~. haha.

Well we went anyway. There were two drivers to alternate with each other (thank God they follow some rules! its time Malaysians learn to follow rules lah bila lagi nak sedar?! XD).

But what was significant about these drivers were that;

(1) They really trust us more than we trusted them. haha, we were the only ~~young~~ girls who wore the Tudung (because we were the only Muslims besides the bus drivers) and everyone else looked very FOREIGN. Not Singaporean Foreign (who we usually see around JB) but foreign meaning that they don't speak Malay (or English or Mandarin or Tamil), they only speak their language.

Back to the point, when these foreigners do something like Leave The Bus For Toilet Breaks When The Bus Meant to Just Fill Up Gas Quickly, the driver gets really mad and scolds (!) them "EH tak payah tak payah Duduk duduk!" or When we reach TBS/Puduraya/Perak/~~MANE LAGI NAK SINGGAH?!~~ , the driver checks everyone's tickets to make sure who pays for KL stops at KL not at Perak, and they check everyone's tickets with no mercy at all (haha) but they never even looked at ours they just mumble "Awak Penang kan?" then continue shouting (seriously) "YOU MANA? IPOH EH?!" or "You mana?! KL? Ha turun turun!"

(2) They played Maher Zain. Then when they got bored they played Sami Yusuf. Malu seh, Music Player aku takde pun Maher Zain/Sami Yusuf, mungkin ada 3Oh3/Owl City (and feelhoney?) je haha. Jap lagi nak bluetooth lah Maher Zain . haha.

(3) They help people lah jugak. There were these 2 passengers, on the way home, heading south, they wanted to go to Ayer Hitam. and I guess they bought Johor Bahru tickets. they asked on the bus "Encik boleh hantar saya dekat ayer hitam tak?" and the Pakcik said "Ayer Hitam? Ha Ok, Ok. Kalau takde polis saya hantar. Dekat toll" "Terima Kasih eh" "Ok Ok" . Haha kteorang patut tanya "Pakcik boleh hantar kteorang pergi JT tak? nak beli kasut baru. tadi kat QB tak sempat beli sebab Pakcik cakap departure pukul 8.30. oh btw, kenapa Pakcik sampai pukul 9.15?" -.-

(4) We wanted to stop for Zuhur+Asar because it was 4.30 and we were already past Ipoh (The supposedly last stop!) so we had to ask them if there were any more stops because we wanted to Solat. They said "Ok Ok nanti kita berhenti kejap lagi. Jangan risau" haha.

(5) They swear a lot. Sometimes it becomes sort of funny. Although so mean >.< . There was a car trying to overtake the bus but never underestimate the ego of a bus driver. Cars tend to feel superior over buses - that I think is universally known - but this bus driver just wouldn't let the car overtake. Albeit the fact that it was 5 in the morning and I was trying to reply a text message while resisting sleep haha, the driver was "Bodohlah!" and then the car wanted to overtake again, so the bus driver said, I mean, shouted "Dah lah bodoh, bangang pulak tu!" Lol. Kesian seh kereta tu.

Haha. Actually there's nothing that interesting of these drivers but maybe after 78 looong hours (!!) in the bus living with these drivers, all of a sudden their progress becomes interesting. -.-

p/s: at the Penang bus station; as I was walking up some stairs, there were these men trying to sell me tickets (every bus station has these people) they asked "Adik, pergi mana dik?" and I was like "Dah ada tiket dah.." they said "Adik cakap dah ada tapi muka adik tunjuk belum ada, tipu eh dik tipu dosa dik" Weh (1) mane kau kenal muka Dah Beli Tiket @ Belum Beli Tiket? (2) Tipu memang dosa lah thanks a lot for reminding me tapi aku tak tipu masalahnya

The Things You Find In Your Room

2011-06-10T21:24:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

Yeah my sister is now in Shah Alam, UiTM studying Law and Yes, now I'm a single daughter in the house with my four brothers (who find in fun to gang up and pick up fights with the society haaiih).

Now I promise that I will now uphold my principles (no link) and never be influenced by the surrounding (?!). I will not play the Play Station with my brothers anymore, I will wake up early everyday (hey new year resolution), I will never watch HANTU KAK LIMAH BALIK RUMAH or KONGSI and I will clean up my room! XD

A few days ago I cleaned up my room.. Its not exactly messy; but of course only me and people my age think so -.- . Mothers, Grandmothers, and Aunts; don't think so I suppose.

I've concluded that my room has too much of 1) Books. 2) Magazines. 3) Clothes 4) Coins .

And its really amusing (lol) when we go thru everything and find some old things with sentimental values.

I found;

one) my old MP3. which if I go to Sony outlets and say it can't be turned on and has to be serviced (i dunno but my Dad says so), they'll be happy to replace it with a new one (seriously. i've done it thrice already!)

two) old Rehlah Form 3 documents. haha lawak je surat kepada; ZOO MELAKA: MEMOHON KEBENARAN MENGADAKAN LAWATAN SAMBIL BELAJAR.

three) old Raya cards. The ones during Form 1 when the boys felt guilty doing a lot of sins to the girls and gave everyone a card saying sorry. lol. Tak payah langsung; orang bukan marah pun..

four) debate notes from 2008. ~~tak macam noob gler zaman tu~~. I read my sister's notes and there was a motion THW Bomb Iran and the team's case was about bombing Iran WHEN THE SUITABLE TIME COMES. PAPE JE LAH.

five) Buku Ihtifal SRIH 2002! lol. I was in Primary 2 and I got 7As out of 8As, Pendidikan Seni aku B!!! (mungkin patut bangga dapat B ;p) Oh and its weird seeing familiar names, from the Pelajar Contoh to Kehadiran Penuh XD.Pernah sekolah rendah rupanye semua orang.

six) Books. Haha when my batch was in Primary 6, after UPSR/SPPM, there was this trend among girls of buying PTS books. hahaha LAKSA DAN UBI lah DAFODIL UNTUK INSYIRAH hahahaha!! I counted and I think I have ten of those. what a waste of money!!

seven) Buku biodata sekolah rendah. Haha zaman sekolah rendah everyone wanted to have one book and pass it around and tell everyone to write their Biodata in it

eight) Kotak Kasut x 4 . Kotak kasut pun nak simpan >.<

nine) Bracelets and Rings and A lot more. During school days you're too used to not using them so it ends up in the jewelry box and you don't remember you have them -.- .

ten) Oh Duit Raya envelopes with Duit Raya inside XD . I may be too young to do a lot of things, but at least I'm young enough to get duit raya hehhee.

Bye!
I've been having a headache since last night and I'm feeling quite awful now -.- maybe its the side effect of reading a page (not the whole book, not even a CHAPTER but a PAGE. what is wrong with me?!) of Sejarah Tingkatan 4 yesterday hahaha.

I should really be doing something

2011-06-08T23:08:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum..

You know what, it was clear in my mind last year, that I'll stop debating by April 2011 ~~for the rest of my life~~ But we plan and Allah plans, and He knows best.

And even though I chose to still continue debating until July and I made that decision in a completely peaceful state of mind (haha), and I've been to 8 competitions before this, the next will be my ninth (~~?! gila semua ni!!~~)..I've broke 4 times, been in 2 finals, got a lot of different team members, and went against a lot of teams, I still worry a lot..even my teacher gets mad at me for coming up with a lot of what ifs XD. haaahh.

I can freak out when BM does trainings and they've got a lot of systematic plannings and trainings and trainers and research and teachers following-up on them.

While I'm not sure of the effectiveness of whatever we've been doing for 6 months already. It seems like we're going around in circles trying to find out whats best to be done every season. Is it train ourselves? train juniors? research? Intra-school? or whatever. All of a sudden its June. Everyone can say we're progressing great but I don't believe them (haha sorry for that).

I freak out every time I go online and visit websites regarding debate (Musleh IDC, Facebook, Malaysian Debater's Ygroup, Depikir groups etc). Dahlah registered teams 28 teams then jadi 30 then tambah lagi jadi 35 kenapa tak 16 je senang nak buat tabs (?!).

then everyone gives us issues we're supposed to read on. they predict that it will come out (~~but I don't think it will)~~ . I try my best to read them and dissolve everything but I'm only 17 I don't get why they want to reduce FDI 's in the first place; I asked my Dad and he said something but whats the link?! (maybe I asked the wrong Q or maybe I misunderstood something ahh nanti je la fikir).

And although its a total cliche to post these pictures here; hey but who cares. its for the last time XD. I hope they aren't copyrighted but if they are then sue me;

These are next;

Musleh Debate (haha sejak bila ada Logo? XD )

End of June - Early July

IIUM 10th IDC

Mid-July

By posting this, I don't mean to complain about anything or make you more nervous than I am or whatever;

What I hope is that everyone who reads this can kindly make Doa and pray for me (and everyone else). It will mean a lot for me.

Pray that I stay focused in class in the next two months. That I will always finish my homework and have constant motivation to study (haha). That I always respect my teachers. That I can understand Addmaths Chemistry Physics and everything else. That learning becomes easier. That I suddenly get a boost in vocabs in Arabic. That I don't fall sick. That I don't sleep even in boring classes.

Pray that we can train effectively given the limited time. That our intentions never stray. That we deserve to get rewarded for everything we do. That I can speak slower (haha). That we can always do our best. That we never get too tired or sleepy and lose ability to think well. That we never have problems in the team. That we always remember to Pray. That we never lose hope. That we're always working in a team. That everyone can contribute maximally. That we are always thankful. That we can reach our goals.

Pray that we don't lose spirit even if its one competition after another and theres obviously not enough of a gap to breathe or rest (or study).

p/s: scary wehh.

p/s: Allahumma inni auzubika minal hammi wal hazan.

Of Markah Ko-ku and KRS

2011-06-08T10:30:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum

Hidayah became Champions again at the Karnival MGBSIM in Hira' Jeram this year. Last year it was in UiTM Dungun and Hidayah won also. Congrats lah. Hebat ah semua orang boleh menang semua.

Its a carnival that err consists of a lot of ~~weird~~ unique Contests. From sports (Futsal, Pingpong, Netball, and last year there was Larian etc) to everything else (Hafazan, Hadith!, Azan, Khutbah!, Syarahan, Choral Speaking, Nasyid etc).

I didn't go for both years. Sedih ahh. ~~Tak de peluang langsung nak tambah markah Ko-ku XD~~ LOL. Last year a bunch of my friends went for Choral Speaking (which was open to Non-Debaters only diskriminasi betul!! ~~ceh macamlah kau nak join sangat >.<~~ ), this year Form 5's weren't prioritized but Qarie went for Hafazan, Putery went for Ping Pong and a lot more went for Futsal, etc..

Whats ironic is that when I asked some people from other schools; they said that their school sent participants to elevate their Ko-ku achievements ie Form 5s who are inactive in Ko-ku etc.

Not that thats a problem. Good strategy, perhaps.

Its just a bit funny to see some people doing things for Extra Curricular marks. Of course they're Ikhlas also (Wallahua'lam) and they wanna achieve something.

But seriously the Extra Curricular marks are so overrated. Even First Formers are so busy joining debate, netball, etc with "Markah Ko-Ku" in their heads. -.- How far can that bring you I wonder.

They say its important because too many people are high scorer these days. and to compete we need another aspect to assess students on.

Yeah true, but its still 10%.

and why do some people treat it like Academic:Extra Curricular is 50:50? (I may be included?)

(sometimes it annoys me that no matter how much we work hard for everything to be a "well-rounded student", the govt only acknowledges it as 10% hahha. Tak proportional langsung -.- bagi la 25% ke lol)

whatever. Its also important to do something for more concrete reasons. Could be your interest, your way of showing your stances and believes, your dakwah duty, your hobby, or your obligation.

My Dad sometimes says "Kalau SPM tak score, ko-ku (could be debate?!) tak bawak ke mana"

Oh. KRS for Fifth Formers has officially ended! there's no bind anymore. now during Perhimpunan KRS every 2nd week of the month, we're exempted from being punished XD Yeahh.

I've never been a fan of KRS. I don't understand why we have to stand in the middle of the field and walk a few steps to the front, then hentak kaki, then to the right then go back to the usual position. Try imagine, you're not in the uniform and you're not in the lines and you do the same exact thing on a random day at 3pm?!

Haha. Every time we have KRS, thats what I think of.

haha. ~~nasib lah Qarie.~~

Some argue that Musleh shouldn't oblige girls to do Badan Beruniform Activities because of some sensitive (?) reasons. I don't agree actually. Its a new era and even if they think women shouldn't carry this burden, but the thing is if they don't do it they'll be left behind.

But what I think the Kepimpinan KRS should do in the future is, make clear of the objectives to the Kadets and work in the line of achieving that objective. What I think has been happening for so long is, "Habiskan syllabus, habiskan syllabus" which is true - its their responsibility to do so, but sometimes its without clear direction.

I've been joining KRS for 5 years (not really lah, during Form 1 it was PSFM lol! kenangan lama HAHA ~~DAHLAH BAJU GREY TUDUNG BIRU TAK FAHAM EN~~) and after my time ended, I've been wondering; what was I supposed to get from KRS in 5 Years? (besides kicking skills and tying ropes and building tents and yeah, moving 3 steps to the right etc) . Hey I don't blame the leadership, I'm blaming myself lah for possibly wasting my time for 5 years -.- .

Only during the last meeting, someone asked the golden question (lol) , "Kenapa kita ada KRS?" and she said it was mainly for being "Bermanfaat Untuk Orang Lain"

You might say its for discipline and teamwork and whatnot, but I think its supposed to be more than that. ~~Discipline ape bende dah KRS 5 tahun still tak tambah berdisiplin pun haaaish~~.One question I've been thinking of is "Dapat pahala tak pergi KRS?" (dahlah terpaksa, and its common for people to "hate" KRS and complain every time after they give pengumuman "Esok ada KRS")

But my times over. If you're still going to have to go thru it (lol) I suggest that you take whatever you can from it. so that you'll actually get something (unlike me ? ) .

And I don't mean targeting to become Pegawai Waran, Staf Sarjan, Sarjan, K, LK solely for Markah Ko-ku lah!! Go deeper. A Muslim is better than that!